I know what I used to think about religion. I thought it was a bunch of Republican robots that went to church because it looked good and it was a way for them to score support or business and to exploit anyone that was there, because they were insincere. They lied. They gave to the church because that looked good and was a way for them to show how “good” they were. When in fact, these were the people that were touching little children but because they were a Christian they didn’t have to worry about anything. These were the people that absconded with money from friends, relatives and business associates and were bewildered when they were caught. The Christian way of life was one of spoiled brats, insincere dealings and messed up abusive people.
And those that came across as goodie two shoes….they were the worst because they said they had God as their savior. Nothing was going to spoil their lily white conscious. They preyed on the weak and vulnerable. The ability to do evil was incredible but every Sunday they were forgiven for their sins. They got to dress up and show off how much wealth they had.
This was all fueled by the media and personal dealings. But they are just my poor thinking of religion. Nothing was a higher power and so these people were getting away with things when they said that they had been forgiven for their sins…they can do anything because Jesus died for them and that they would be allowed in heaven. If that was the case, then I wanted no part of that whole side of the world. I trusted no one and especially Christians. I never thought about the side of Christianity that was good and giving…able to do so many good things for others, and very seldom asked for anything in return.
The day I “gave myself” to God, I was not prepared. I went into the whole situation with doubt and not a very open mind. But I also went in with a ton of questions and thoughts. I had a great pastor that answered all of them and talked to me like I was anybody…not the heathen I thought I was. He didn’t try to ram it down my throat and didn’t lie to me (I think). He wasn’t offended by my view and he didn’t try an exorcism because of my language.
And now that I actually go to church on a regular basis, I have met some really great people; in and out of the church. I still am really reluctant to change my view of Christians. They are still not to be trusted yet. Parts are so cotton candy and lollipops that it makes my teeth hurt. They just ooze Christianity. They wear crosses all the time but tend to live in contradiction. They bring their bible with them. They listen to Christian music and have a bumper sticker to prove it. They are sickingly sweet…giving and giving. I don’t know why I’m cautious with them. They are probably genuinely giving and supportive. I think I expect them to want something from me. The good ol’ give and take…which is fair but what they’re giving is just love and support. I’m not used to being given something and NOT having to do something for the other person. So I walk around these people, avoiding eye contact because I’ve got nothing to give. In reality, I have a lot to give. I want to give back to my church. I want to give of my time and talents and so I show up and ask what I can do to help. I try to support financially and I have gotten involved with groups. Everything I swore I would never do.
But I also swore I’d never go to church or carry a bible around with me. I do both…and my bible has a cute little cover that I know means I’ve become a Christian.
Other religions are not really tough for me. I believe that there are different ways to do things but ultimately, it’s the same God. I’m not sure I’m a Lutheran but I attend a Lutheran Church. If I were to be told that I had to think a certain way to go to the church, I would find another and probably another denomination. Even different religions are OK to me. They still believe in a higher power. How they get to their heaven is still through a God. Having faith is universal. It’s how you live your life in order to achieve the goal of either heaven (which I kind of believe in) or reincarnation (which I tend to believe more in). I want to live my life in a way that means I get to go to the next level and revel in my God.
And as I have heard so many times…your God and my God may not be the same but I bet their friends.
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