Thinking outside the barriers in my mind

I have spent the first 35 years of my life thinking and telling everyone that I have no artistic talent.  That I'm just not creative.  I'm more of an analytical thinker.  I can manage people and projects but I can't draw stick figures.  I don't doodle.  I couldn't even use a ruler right to make a straight line.  All these things were said over and over and over again.  Like a mantra.

But, as I touched on in my post about my new car, my life changed when I bought my new car.  I had a revelation about me and what I can and cannot do. I was always going to be the Cold Hearted Bitch that I was nicknamed from a group of people.  Bless their cotton socks but they were right. I was cold and I lacked any semblance of a heart.  And I definitely was (and still am to a degree) a bitch.

But that's no excuse for being the same person regardless of how I was hurting people or how I was beating myself up over the years.  Shame on me for not trying different things.  But I had it in my head that I was just always going to be like this.  And I would always have to dress the same way, do my hair the same way, listen to the same music....

But that stupid little Cube drove me into a spiral or a different dimension.  I suddenly found that I wanted to listen to different music.  I started switching channels on my radio...or rather I started listening to the radio rather then my iPod.  When I stole...I mean checked out music from the library, I started grabbing CD's that I never would have checked out.  I used Genius on my iTunes.  I realized that I kind of liked some of the music I heard on 98.9 The Rock or 103.7 The Dam.  I was maybe a little of a metal head?  So I downloaded different kinds of music.  Some I found that I didn't like but there were others that surprised me that I liked (like Godsmack).

Back in May, I took a sculpture welding class with a friend.  It was 3 Sunday's in a row for about 6 hours.  I loved the class.  But part of it was to do a project for you.  It meant designing something.  It meant having a vision of something you wanted to make.  Crap....I couldn't think of anything.  No, I take that back. I could think of things I wanted to COPY but then realized that I had about 9 hours to do it in and that was sharing all the equipment with about 10 other people.  So I had to narrow that down. But again, it was copying something. Nothing original.  So I talked with people and threw around some things and then someone told me to draw it out.  Exactly how I wanted it to look.  Right away I told them I couldn't draw.  That didn't cut it so I got out a piece of paper and drew what I wanted.  And then freaked out because how was I going to get it to look like that?  So this friend told me to measure...another radical thought.  So I measured and measured and realized that I should have used pencil....

But I drew it out, in it's exact dimensions on a huge piece of paper. I wrote down all the dimensions.  I went prepared.  The instructor complimented me when she asked if I was an architect because my design was very well documented.  I kept that paper, it's ratty and a little torn but it's my first design.  And the product?  It's not perfect but it is awesome.  See below.

And then came the projects.  I bought myself a notebook and started writing down my ideas.  This was the hard part.  Actually putting on paper what I wanted.  And not kicking myself for even thinking I could do some of these things.  And some of them I will probably not be able to do. I just don't have the talent.

BUT....I do have an eye for things. I'm pretty good about seeing something and knowing what it will go with or what I could do to make it look right somewhere else.  I probably need to be in designing or decorating.  But when that happens?  I'll be 72 years old.  I'm kind of stuck in IT.

But here are some of my projects.  I can't show all on here because I have peeps that read this and I have started projects for them.

This first one is my headboard on my bed.  I took a twin flat sheet that coordinated with my sheets.  The red is not necessarily what I would choose for this but it's what I have and I love it.  The buttons were sewed down as much as I could and then hot glued in place. They are double buttons, the top button is not sewed, just glued to the bottom button.  I started this project with just a few buttons (like 6) over the headboard and about a month later  decided to finish.  I has bought specific colored buttons and they were pretty expensive for not a lot.  I have TONS of buttons and I just decided to just go wild.  This is the result.

I have fallen in love with felt.  I have made a couple of pieces for friends and I have several more pieces that I will make for the rest.  One of the felt things I like is felting.  It actually is the process of "stabbing" fabric to another fabric.  You have a very sharp (believe me, I have the cuts to prove it) needle with barbs that you punch through one fabric, to meld it to another fabric.  It's called Needle Felting.  I love the look of felted wool and so I decided to try this out.  I'm still learning but my first project with felting is this, I'm going to turn it into a pillow for someone.  I'm working on my next one now.

The only project that I have finished was a machine cover for my sewing machine.  This was also my first attempt at using a pattern. I'm not known for my patience but even I did OK. It helped that my Mom (who is UBER creative) helped a lot but I still had to do the dirty work.  I'm really proud of this because 1) I finished it, 2) I didn't kill my mother because I typically have a low tolerance for her sometimes and 3) it looked like what I wanted it to look like.  Not 100% tidy but I'm OK with that.

So part of my mom's visit was to help me start Christmas gifts. I have decided this year that I am making ALL of my gifts.  So I put a list together and started planning.  The next few are gifts that I'm putting together.  No names to protect the innocent but general pictures.  Again, none are done but all are designed.

Have another 2 rows to do and then sew and quilt

This is a felted envelop that is going to hold pictures from a trip to Ireland that I did with my folks.  This is for my Dad.  I couldn't figure out what to make for my Dad so I thought of this.  I'll print off some of the photos from the trip and put in there.  I think he'll get a kick out of it.

There is actually going to be 2 quilts like this.  But I'm keeping mum on who they are for. It's in a frame so I can tie it.  I'm not hand quilting or even machine quilting.  I'm just tying the layers together.

This one is for my sister-in-law.  It's actually pink and  green but it looks like different colors in this light.  Hers will be tied also.

I am felting a small clutch purse for my niece.  I am creating a flower to put on it and then some accents around that.  The felting of the flower is taking me awhile but I think it's coming around.  Again, not perfect but I'm trying.

And I've taken to going to fabric stores to just look.  I gave my mother so much shit for YEARS about her obsession with fabric but I swear to God....the fabric talks to me.  Tells me what I should use them for.  Or just to go home with me and we'll figure out what to do from there.  I'm starting to have a "stash" of stuff that MAYBE I'll use but I definitely need to bring it home.  Just what I need, more voices in my head!

So this is the last thing.  I LOVE this fabric. It's a fleece and makes into nice blankets.  I don't know why but I had to have it.  I'm thinking of who I can give it to as a blanket but at this point...it's staying with me.  Maybe it'll go better with the buttons on the headboard?