Bitchin'

I have always wanted to do drugs - I mean I abused alcohol like you abuse the post-it notes from work.  But I was such a control freak growing up that I just didn't have the spine for it.  What if  this humongous "thing" (whatever that may be....subject to my freaked out mind) happened and I wouldn't know what to do.

I really wanted to get high.  Just to say I had.  And to know what other people were talking about.  But I have never really inhaled smoke.  I went through a phase where I carried a pack of cigarettes with me when I went out to bars. And I sucked in a lot of smoke.  But I never really inhaled. I had no idea how to do that without looking like a poser.  So I just swished it around in my mouth and tried to look cool when I let it gush out of my mouth after an appropriate amount of time.

Back in February I had a cigarette and about lost my lunch....or dinner to be precise, it was in the evening! I actually inhaled on this one and GAG....I was light headed, and not in a good "I'm getting HIGH" way but in a if this ride keeps going around, I'm going to make a deposit on the side of your car....so no more smoking for me.  Which saves me money I would have spent on cigarettes I would never smoke but I had been thinking about it...I think about a lot of things when wrapped around money.  Assuming I'll just pick "this" up and it won't be too expensive.  This time I looked down the path and saw all the $3 packs PLUS the Kleenex I would have to buy for the coughing fits that have me burping up snot.  And the whitening kits for my teeth.  Then there is the coffee habit that seems to come with the smokes.  Lung replacement - you can't just pick that up anywhere!  Pretty expensive if you think about it.

But maybe acid?  A little cocaine?  I say this purely because I've never even SEEN either of these in person. I didn't actually see pot until 2001.  I have to admit that I was around it in 2006 a couple of times.  For some reason the ex bought some from a "guy".  He and a couple of friends smoked it in the garage.  Again....not really exciting.  None of them took their clothes off or tried to fly off the roof.  They didn't even get the munchies.  I even went out to get stuff, just in case.  I should have been a Boy Scout because I like to be prepared!!!  Yes, that makes me more of a house mom then a wife...

I think I got a little high earlier this year when I was trying to strip a piece of furniture in my apartment. I have a small patio but it was ridiculously hot out that day and it was bubbling up the stripper (ha ha ha) and I couldn't get it off fast enough so it was gooping up.  So I pulled everything back into the apartment.  After awhile it got a little "wavy"...I put the ceiling fan on high and brought down my stand fan and let that go.  But I didn't get the munchies or the urge to strip and/or fly. But the fumes cleared up and I took a leisurely stroll in the 100+ weather.  I probably sweated it out my pores in those 10 minutes.

Now, with all that said...I would never do it.  Mostly because my program requires me to be CLEAN and sober.  I'm not willing to start my sobriety over just because I wonder what it feels like. And besides...who can afford the good shit anymore?