My List of Demands

This is a long post but should be a quick read.

After reading through these and then adding some from another blog I follow...I really don't think this is unreasonable.  I think I'm asking for things that are kind of mandatory. At least I think so.  And this isn't a list of things that the ex wasn't, although several are definitely opposite. I think this is healthy.

Thank you Tracy for your hard work that went into your list and then I stole and tried to pawn it off as my own.  You're the best!

Here is the list of my ideal man:

• Communicates his needs and wants to talk to me.  

• Listens to me talk about my day.  Takes a real interest in what I’m thinking about and what I need.  

• Interacts with me in conversations.  Gives me his attention.

• I want to feel a connection with him that allows us to be open and truthful with our thoughts and actions. 

• I want a man that is kind to others.  Not making judgments based on looks or speech.

• I want someone who is willing or likes to watch scary movies.  

• I want someone that is knowledgeable in “the bedroom” so that I don’t have to teach someone.   

• Keeping an open mind but also believing strongly in something

• I want someone to be able to tell me what his wants and needs are.  I want someone who is confident in himself enough to communicate what he needs and holds me accountable if I’m not meeting them.   

• I want someone who takes pride in himself, caring what he looks like.  Cutting his hair, shaving when necessary. I like facial hair but the occasional trimming is necessary.

• I want someone that takes pride in his home and car.  Meaning he mows the lawn when necessary, takes care of the maintenance of the car.  Being a responsible person with things in his life.  Taking the appropriate actions when necessary.  Not leaving things undone for extended periods of time because he just doesn’t want to deal with it.

• No young kids

• Accepting of my dogs.

• Accepting of my lifestyle and the baggage I come with.  Someone who is willing to help me with some of the medical issues but understanding when I have times where I don’t feel good or am having a hard time.  I want someone who is willing to give me space but is also concerned about me and wants to help as much as he can or I allow him.

• Believes in me, even when I don’t.

• Has a decent income, not living paycheck to paycheck.

• Has an important job – not to the point of sacrificing family but important to him.

• Trustworthy.  Knowing that I can talk to him with all of my thoughts and know that he won’t use them against me or make fun of them to others.  

• Holds himself accountable and can admit when he’s wrong or has made a mistake. And then be able to say he is sorry and mean it 

• Is spontaneous 

• Picks up after himself 

• Wants to do things outside of the house.  Go to movies, plays, etc.  Wants to spend time doing things together, things that require us to be involved.

• I want someone who has their own hobbies and that will allow me to be involved in them.  I would like for us to find things to do together.

• Tall. 6’ plus...I’m 5’3” and shouldn’t ask for a tall guy because of all the tall ladies out there but it is what it is...I like them tall. 

• Has a hobby that he’s passionate about.  

• Has buddies.

• Has to have a great sense of humor. Is willing to make me laugh but be serious when necessary.

• Thinks I’m funny.

• Has a footballer type physique.  I like my men a little beefy. Not necessarily muscles out to here but kind of like a big teddy bear

• Not politically correct, but not offensive

• At least has a understanding of his God but at least lets me have my conception of God

• Able to take me on a vacation.

• Is not clingy. He should know the difference between clingy and being close.

• Fiscally responsible but not cheap.

• Is proud that I’m his and wants his buddies to meet me.

• I am #1 with him (after his kids, should he have them)

• If he has kids, he must be crazy about them.

• Does not want more kids. 

• No lying, cheating, manipulating, deceiving, being secretive.

• Stands up for himself, especially with me.

• No drama. 

• Doesn’t mind if I cuss a lot.

• Knows a little bit about cars.

• Is OK with the thought that marriage may not be the end result of our relationship.  Just being together is enough for him.

• Doesn’t wear jewelry.

• Is OK with not having a bar in the house.  Willing to have a couple at home on the weekend but never longer.

• Knows when to say No.

• Does not feel embarrassed or ashamed of being in love with me.

• Looks at me like he’s in love with me.

• Acts like he is in love with me.

• Says he’s in love with me.

And I think there needs to be an ideal Shannon

• Be willing to accept the love of another person without compartmentalizing my feelings.  Holding myself back so I won’t get hurt.  I want to be willing to accept the love of another person for face value.  I want to be open to their feelings for me.

• Be willing to have my heart broken.  Putting my heart out for others to see.

• Be open to getting more than I think I deserve.

• Maybe cuss less

That was kind of fun...although kind of heartbreaking because I don't have any of that with someone. Everyone tells me it will happen when I least expect it.  I'm going to be least expecting the hell out of it.