Clear away the cobwebs

My dating life is becoming a war zone.  I move from one guy to the next. I never wanted to be a serial dater. I'm not in this for all the free food or movies.  The first date or two are actually my least favorite.  No one likes to get gussy'd up every Friday and Saturday.  I mean, maybe I just don't.  I'd love to find that one person and not keep going on first or second dates.  I spoke to my friend in California and she thinks I'm picky. And I know R.D. thinks I'm certifiable. But I can't help but think that I can do better then the last couple.

I mean, I don't think I"m asking too much. I think I'm being quite reasonable.  Maybe it's the dating site?  Or maybe the guy just doesn't come clean with everything?  It's all their fault...not mine.

The one that made me want to rip his clothes off was probably going to end up being a little controlling or abusive. But that's the one that I keep thinking about.  He told me what we were doing.  What dinner I was going to make.  What time I was supposed to be somewhere.  THAT was a huge turn on. I'm a planner person and I make plans.  It was such a treat to be told when to do something.  Which may have sounded like he was controlling. And he drank...not just drank but DRANK.  He even brought 3 beers with him for our last date.  He even knew I was in the program and didn't drink.  But I didn't think anything about it. I actually was proud of myself that I was able to fetch him a beer and pop the top without even thinking about it....hmmm...I might have to rethink this last sentence....

Not that it matters, he stopped talking to be after a month. I'm not altogether sure what happened but I unfriended him on Facebook and I regret it.  I really liked how he made me feel.  But things happen for a reason.

The one after him was so cautious that it was maddening.  He wouldn't call me because it would probably be a long conversation so he'll just email me.  And we met once but since that lasted a long time too, he thought email was just the best way to talk.  And my personality was hyper and he wasn't sure if I wouldn't turn out to be like an ex girlfriend. So he stopped talking to me too.  Didn't actually say "Hey, I'm a knob and am not going to call you anymore because I'm pretty sure I want to stay single"

There were a couple more in there for random first dates.  One had a late teen daughter that just had a kid.  This guy was my age and I'm 35!!  Which wouldn't be bad but he kept going on about the baby daddy wanting to move in with him and his daughter but because he didn't have a job that was no way to be a man. Never mind that she's 18 and had a baby...I mean he was 16 when he had his daughter so waiting 2 years is an improvement.  DRAMA!!!!

The next said he was 5'9" but I swear he was shorter then me and he thought it was a big deal that the people that owned the house were he rented a room would let us use the living room TV if I came over....yeah, that one didn't make a TV date...shame because he drove a mini-van too...pure sex.

The one this last week had some potential but still ended up freaking me out. He was pretty nice and funny.  He was absolutely enthralled with me.  I couldn't do anything wrong.  He brought flowers (I was impressed with that) but he wore shorts and sandals.  This was a pretty posh restaurant; took reservations, which may not mean as much to him as much as it did to me. And he had a pointy head.  Seriously pointy.  Like Conehead bad.  And it was all I could do not to stare at it that night.  And he was over the top about stuff.  Played my favorite band, played a couple of their love songs.  As I was trying to ignore his attempts to whoo me with the songs; I would try to talk over them and he kept turning them up.  Over the top....Saturday we went to an antique mall downtown KC, MO and he spent the whole 3 hours following me around.  Asking me if I liked this trinket or that throw pillow.  Again, all things that probably should happen but it felt like he would throw his grandma under a bus if he thought it would impress me.Even when I ended it, he told me that I could call or hang out if I changed my mind or just were bored.  I felt kind of bad about that one but I think I can do better.

And that is the rub.  I always think I can do better.  And I have to ask if that's really the case.  Because I'm holding out for that one guy.  THE ONE....and I think I should have that but maybe I'm not being realistic.

How do I get the ones that would do anything for me but are normal? Or at least make me feel like this is natural?  Am I asking too much to be introduced to someone and it just happens naturally?  I shouldn't have to troll the dating sites looking for a picture that is a good representation of what that person actually looks like.  The height that they put is correct.  That they "do drink socially" and mean it.  And if they do have kids, that they don't want more.  Because I think I've exhausted the 2 guys on Plenty of Fish that don't want kids and don't have any.