Music to my ears

I love music. It truly soothes my soul. I love listening to music but it has to be my music. I had satelite radio for 3 years and I can count on one hand the number of times I strayed from the 80's channel...that's 3 years of nothing but 80's music...Ice Ice Baby!

I have had an iPod since they came out. Upgrading every year or so. I have the touch and I absolutely love it. I would love it better if I had the iPhone instead but then I wouldnt have as much space. Although I don't have a full 32 gig right now. But I have about 4 movies and almost a thousand songs. I'm about a 3rd of the way full.

I live 2.7 miles from work. And so I have very little time in the car. 10 minutes on those mornings where I hit Metcalf at JUST the right time. But I average about 7 minutes. In that small span...I have to have my iPod attached. The beauty of my new car is that it has a direct connection to my iPod. Not an AV jack. But a direct usb connection That was one of the reasons I bought the car. But I can't listen to the radio in that 7 minutes. Ultimately because it's all commercials. What a way to waste those precious few minutes. And then there is my office. I can listen to music at my desk all day.

So I have my iTouch all the time. I walk the dogs and that's 30 minutes that I get to listen.

And walking the dogs is my time to meditate. It gives me a chance to just clear my head and listen to whatever comes on and I usually zone out and have some really great therapy sessions in my head. It's when I feel the closest to God. I love my walks. I've processed and forgiven a lot of things in those walks. And music is a huge part of that.

But I move through music pretty regularly.

I listen to the same music over and over and over. I will have a favorite for weeks. Now I have Favorite favorites. Ones that are just always going to be on my list. Waterloo, Dont bring me down, heartache tonight, small criminal, thriller (long version), jeopardy, strokin'...but I have newer favorites too. Nickelback is high on the list. A lot of heavier (notice I said heavier...not heavy) rock. I was listening to christiian rock when I went through my Jesus phase but got sick of the sappyness...(Just kidding JC!)

But for years I have ripped cd's from friends, librarys, and even Napster before it went legite (that tells you how long I've been collecting!) So I have over 6,000 songs. I listen to maybe 1/6 of that...and thats being generous. But I put in my budget each month for $20. Now that used to buy 20 songs but not anymore (gouging my pocketbook - Apple will get you as bad as Microsoft...but I digress). But most of that $20 goes toward movies now. I have over 200 actual dvd movies. But I have a bad habit of buying a movie and then NEVER watching it again. And I mean never. I've purposefully have made myself watch more lately but I even pay for Netflix and don't watch more then one or two a month. But that's cheaper then buying a new movie a week! While some would say to just not buy any or pay for Netflix I ask you how else am I going to waste money? I mean really? Should I pay my credit cards or put in savings? My bank would call me to check that someone hadn't hacked into my account and suddenly became more responsible. I have the audacity to be offended by that remark...

But my music is important to me. I really am not comfortable with silence. I struggle to listen to things when there is not music going.  And if I have to be quiet? I feel at loose ends. I don't like listening to my head. It gets pretty dark in there and I have to drown it out a lot. Which just takes me to my money problems.  But I will find so much peace with just listening to music.  I don't have to sing along or try to memorize the lyrics (although that happens with the amount of times I listen to a song) but the fact that I can listen to the lyrics or memorize them helps me. Maybe it's a lot like having Autism.  I'm soothed by it and a lot of times I can't deal with silence because it makes me face things. I don't know, I'm not a therapist but I"m sure there's a therapy session in there somewhere.

I'm willing to try new music. 1/2 the music I rip from the library I will never listen to because it's not something I find interesting but I continue to steal from the library because what if I MIGHT like it?  Then I wouldn't have to buy it.  So I'm making a commitment to listen to my already purchased/ripped music.  I've got over 6,000 to choose from so I guess I'll make an effort to branch out.

I still love 80's music but I like that I"m open enough to try something new.  I wasn't always so flexible.  This means progress rather then perfection.