Countdown

Here's how this is going to go....

1. I am going to send out one last email to my Mother to assure her that I'm not going to end up in some crack den off Troost Avenue and have a new boyfriend named Wooshie Washington (I have actually seen a person names Wooshie - I'm hoping its a nickname).

2. I have a list of projects and books I'm going to work on or get involved in.  I don't expect I'll get all of them done but I do want at least one project and one book finished.

3.  I have a list of all chores I would like to get done.  Mainly my laundry and dishes.  I'll work on the vacuuming and cleaning my room when I find the time.

4. I have a small supply of chocolate and fruits. Chocolate because Aunt Flo is craving it and fruits because that is the sweetest stuff I'm going to be eating for the next 40 days.

5. Notebooks to write in.  I have this one notebook made out of a music album (ABBA!!!!!) and it's a bit bigger then normal. I've been doodling a lot in it.  I used to have a really hard time doodling. Mainly because I tried too hard to make it look cute....casual too...I never really succeeded.

6. Willow - she is 3,000 times better today. I took her to the vet and have her on some pain meds. She kind of strained her neck (not sure how) and its like I have my puppy back.  Hopefully she'll be on the mend and the next 2 days will be better then before

7. My iPod.  Because I won't open my computer, I have to have music on my iPod. I spent a whole night  getting my iPod updated.  I think I'm going to really like the different music.

8. Energy....I'm actually really looking forward to this.  I want to relax and just be present.  Cuddle with Willow and meditate on what I have in my life.


Now....this could all fall apart around 8:27 tonight.  Turning everything off is going to drive me crazy, I know this.  And its not because I just can't be unplugged, its because I will be totally alone. Something I don't like being anymore.  So this is just as much of a lesson for me to get off the grid but its also going to teach me that being alone is not bad....but if you would like to visit, I think most of you have my address.  Bring a date...we'll get this party jumping. I suspect that this will be in my head all weekend...

Word to your Mother!

Music to my ears

I love music. It truly soothes my soul. I love listening to music but it has to be my music. I had satelite radio for 3 years and I can count on one hand the number of times I strayed from the 80's channel...that's 3 years of nothing but 80's music...Ice Ice Baby!

I have had an iPod since they came out. Upgrading every year or so. I have the touch and I absolutely love it. I would love it better if I had the iPhone instead but then I wouldnt have as much space. Although I don't have a full 32 gig right now. But I have about 4 movies and almost a thousand songs. I'm about a 3rd of the way full.

I live 2.7 miles from work. And so I have very little time in the car. 10 minutes on those mornings where I hit Metcalf at JUST the right time. But I average about 7 minutes. In that small span...I have to have my iPod attached. The beauty of my new car is that it has a direct connection to my iPod. Not an AV jack. But a direct usb connection That was one of the reasons I bought the car. But I can't listen to the radio in that 7 minutes. Ultimately because it's all commercials. What a way to waste those precious few minutes. And then there is my office. I can listen to music at my desk all day.

So I have my iTouch all the time. I walk the dogs and that's 30 minutes that I get to listen.

And walking the dogs is my time to meditate. It gives me a chance to just clear my head and listen to whatever comes on and I usually zone out and have some really great therapy sessions in my head. It's when I feel the closest to God. I love my walks. I've processed and forgiven a lot of things in those walks. And music is a huge part of that.

But I move through music pretty regularly.

I listen to the same music over and over and over. I will have a favorite for weeks. Now I have Favorite favorites. Ones that are just always going to be on my list. Waterloo, Dont bring me down, heartache tonight, small criminal, thriller (long version), jeopardy, strokin'...but I have newer favorites too. Nickelback is high on the list. A lot of heavier (notice I said heavier...not heavy) rock. I was listening to christiian rock when I went through my Jesus phase but got sick of the sappyness...(Just kidding JC!)

But for years I have ripped cd's from friends, librarys, and even Napster before it went legite (that tells you how long I've been collecting!) So I have over 6,000 songs. I listen to maybe 1/6 of that...and thats being generous. But I put in my budget each month for $20. Now that used to buy 20 songs but not anymore (gouging my pocketbook - Apple will get you as bad as Microsoft...but I digress). But most of that $20 goes toward movies now. I have over 200 actual dvd movies. But I have a bad habit of buying a movie and then NEVER watching it again. And I mean never. I've purposefully have made myself watch more lately but I even pay for Netflix and don't watch more then one or two a month. But that's cheaper then buying a new movie a week! While some would say to just not buy any or pay for Netflix I ask you how else am I going to waste money? I mean really? Should I pay my credit cards or put in savings? My bank would call me to check that someone hadn't hacked into my account and suddenly became more responsible. I have the audacity to be offended by that remark...

But my music is important to me. I really am not comfortable with silence. I struggle to listen to things when there is not music going.  And if I have to be quiet? I feel at loose ends. I don't like listening to my head. It gets pretty dark in there and I have to drown it out a lot. Which just takes me to my money problems.  But I will find so much peace with just listening to music.  I don't have to sing along or try to memorize the lyrics (although that happens with the amount of times I listen to a song) but the fact that I can listen to the lyrics or memorize them helps me. Maybe it's a lot like having Autism.  I'm soothed by it and a lot of times I can't deal with silence because it makes me face things. I don't know, I'm not a therapist but I"m sure there's a therapy session in there somewhere.

I'm willing to try new music. 1/2 the music I rip from the library I will never listen to because it's not something I find interesting but I continue to steal from the library because what if I MIGHT like it?  Then I wouldn't have to buy it.  So I'm making a commitment to listen to my already purchased/ripped music.  I've got over 6,000 to choose from so I guess I'll make an effort to branch out.

I still love 80's music but I like that I"m open enough to try something new.  I wasn't always so flexible.  This means progress rather then perfection.