Cowboy's and Indian's

I may have touched on this briefly but I bought a gun about 4 months ago.  I had shot a gun once, several years before.  I have a picture of me holding it Charlie's Angels style and rocking it.  The gun scared the shit out of me and so I really only shot it a couple of times and gave it back to the ex.  I was not interested in it again until recently.

The ex has a gun and I talked him into going to a shooting range and let me shoot a couple of rounds.  And this time, I enjoyed it.  It was a bigger gun then I think I should have, it was hard to get my hands around, yes.  But it was also a touchy trigger and that scared me.  I was afraid I would kick off a shot just by pointing it away from me. I was a little nervous about that.  So I started thinking about whether or not I really should have a gun.  Try to suss out my motives.  Yes, part of the reason I wanted a gun was because I wanted one.  And I thought it would be cool to have one.  And I thought I might need protection.  This last reason was because I was starting to get nervous being alone.  It's not a good reason, mind you, but it was one of the reasons I started looking.  And I have to admit that I kind of wanted to look bad ass. Not a good reason for sure but I can't lie that it was one of the line items on my want list.

The gun I chose was more centered around price then anything. I knew I wanted a 9mm because of the size of the gun and accuracy.  I went to a gun show and found the Smith&Wesson Sigma. It was in my price range and came with an at least medium review.  Mostly it was around the trigger pressure and how it was really rough.    So I found one that I felt created a bond with me and gave me the ability to be sure I wanted to fire it.  I felt it allowed me to make that conscious decision to fire a weapon.  No accident about it.

And I have to admit that I just like how it looks.  I don't like pistols. I think they look too sissy.  I have heard that pistols are actually a better, more manageable gun.  Bit it looks silly to me and I didn't think anyone would take me seriously and I know from watching all those crime lord shows that the handguns are just cooler.  I like that I can pull back the slide and shut it with the click of the button, you know like they do in movies.  Now...that does not mean I think its cool and should play around with just because I can make it do what I see in movies and make me feel like a bad ass.  But to be honest, acting like a bad ass has a lot to do with it.  Most movies have the "kill shot" move and secretly I think a lot of us think it makes us look cool.  I can honestly say I have not tried that little move with my gun. I'm too sure I'll drop the sucker and shoot my eye out.

Going for the kill shot

There is a shooting range that offers free range fees on Wednesdays to all the ladies.  I usually go at noon so I can get there and back in time and still pop off a couple caps in your ass. But I cram a couple of bullets in the clips and ping off a couple of shots and then go back to work.  Taking me all of 10 minutes.  In talking with one of the guys at the shop, he suggested that I take some classes and at the least, take my time and enjoy the challenge of accuracy,

Although the real challenge is keeping my eyes open; squinting them closed as I pull the trigger.  Little wonder I was hitting the target about every 5th shot.  And never where I was aiming for.  Keeping my eyes open was a challenge.  It's squeezing my eyes shut and then hoping that I actually hit something close to where I thought I looked before shutting them.  I keep my eyes open about 2/3 of the time now.  But it takes a bit for me to figure out eye to aim from and still keep them open.  It'll take time and lots of bullets.

This is one of my best shooting attempts and done early on in my shooting.  I was so excited this day.  I had done nothing different, so I am still not sure how I came to hit 40 odd shots out of 50. That was a great day.

Lately, I can't hit the side of a barn.  I think I'm over thinking things and not breathing and all that crap. I shoot about 10 - 15 rounds and then go home because I refuse to waste more money on bullets when I'm hitting one or two of them. I'm getting frustrated.  So talking to one of the gun guys is going to help, I think.  I just have to take my time.  Slow down and breathe before pulling the trigger.

Now comes the Conceal and Carry.

I'm torn about whether or not to apply for one.  My ex tells me that its a bad idea because I'm more at risk of hurting myself then anything.  I agree with that.  I now that I would probably shoot myself in the foot then try to subdue an on-coming assailant.  

This could totally be me.