Bad Attitude

I’ve decided to have a pity party today. I’m in a foul mood and I’m not sure anyone has the ability to talk me out of that. I’m pissed about things at work. I’m frustrated with Willow and her sudden desire to be anywhere but around me. And I have these feelings of despair that I just can’t keep in check around other people. It’s almost 2:00 and I’ve spent about 94 minutes at my desk throughout the day and I feel really behind at work. I am tired of being upset and unable to manage my attitude around others so I’m going home. I think I’ll be able to work adequately from there. Willow ignores me and I can’t get her to let me pet her so I think I’ll be distraction free.



I really do wish things were easier right now. I’m tired of fighting and scrambling for things. I’d really like it to be calm and productive. Mostly this is my attitude and I know that. But it’s a lot easier to lash out to others and ask for them to fix it. I’m sure my friends are tired of me bitchin’ and moanin’ about crap.



I’m considering going “off grid” this weekend. I did it about a year ago and it was pretty good. I turned off the phone and computer. I even shut the TV off and I think I’m going to try that again. I have books to read and I have tons of projects to do. I just uploaded 300+ songs to my iPod so there can be new music for the weekend. I’ll get groceries Friday after work and then hibernate for 2 days. I really do not think I’m going to an extreme here. I guess it boils down to needing to stay away from people because I’m going to be so miserable that I will probably bring them down. And it is not my intention, at all, to make my friends work to be my friends. I hate that I probably take more than I’ve ever given.



Last year, when I did my first Off Grid, it was a sudden decision and actually weirded several people out. My Mother being one of them. I’ll broach this as a retreat from reality but not because I’m going to hole myself up in an apartment with all the windows closed, blinds shut, lights out and gulping water from the kitchen sink faucet without a glass. I might go a little aboriginal and walk around in the nude, I am running out of clothes to wear.



I think I have better boobs



 Maybe now is the time to start on my HCG diet...I've been putting it off and so now I am at an all time high weight for the last 3 years. This gives me the ability to go without soda for the first couple of days and not threaten and/or actually kill someone because I'm in withdraw. Yeah, this sounds like a good time to do this. I guess I'm going to pull the trigger on this....Off Grid 2011.  You can place your orders for t-shirts now...I'll cut you a deal.