Grateful for so much

Back in December of 2009, I started doing a gratitude list. 5 things I was grateful for, for that day. I started doing this with a girl that I was sponsoring. We were going to do it every day for 30 days. No repeats and it had to be 5. She made it about 15 days and then went back out drinking. I haven’t seen or talked to her since. That was my very first sponsee…kind of took that one hard. I was not grateful for that. Although I am grateful for her being in my life at that time. She definitely helped keep me sober.

Around this time I asked my Mom to do the same thing. After 30 days I typed up what she had been grateful for and sent it to her. Giving her 150 things she found worthwhile. It was kind of cool.

But I didn’t stop there. I kept going and so did Mom. Every day, it was 5 things grateful for but this time we could repeat. And we have been doing that for over 10 months. Mom has added about 8 ladies to the list now, all friends of her on-line group or through sewing/quilting groups. They have been so nice to me and they are all so loving. I’m truly grateful for them!

But I find myself grateful for my powdered drink mix, binder clips, definitely mechanical pencils (I’m in love with them) and Facebook. Those are kind of random ones but I find that all of mine are kind of random. Here are some of the things I’ve been grateful for:

• Yahoo Messenger so I can "talk" to Burke
• Meeting the other Cube Car owners tonight
• NO MEETINGS!!!!!!!
• My iTouch
• My ability to somewhat calmly reschedule my work load
• I managed to get to work before 8am!
• McDonald's Dollar Menu
• On-line ability to check accounts
• Cheaper gas is Missouri
• This is day 5 of no soda and I'm feeling good
• Skype
• Highway I35 for getting me from one door to another
• Hearing my dogs snore
• That I've built up a trust in my life that I never had before
• That it's only 3:21pm on Sunday...I still have hours to go before bed and then the dreaded Monday
• Quik Trip
• Budget (not really grateful but kind of grateful)
• Sewing Expo
• Got to leave work at 3pm
• Jeans that "give a little" when I need it
• That I have a job that allows me to stay home and work
• Apple TV and able to choose movies for free
• Long hot showers
• Most of the girls outside my office are out for the day - YEAH!!!
• My ability to keep a straight face when I am told a highly ridiculous excuse
• Honey Mustard flavored Pringles
• God for allowing me to remain on this planet and live a life that I am finding is worth living
• Microsoft Excel spreadsheets
• Honey Crisp Apples
• Chapstick
• Sewing machine is working!!!!
• The ability to restrain myself from snapping when someone says I look like a big pumpkin because I'm wearing an orange top...(they better have not meant that I look like a big FAT pumpkin)

 That’s one of the 5 for the last 30 days. It’s amazing how many of the other ladies put the weather, God (although it’s only through him), their kids or grand kids or friends on-line. I guess I’m more of a instantaneous grateful person and its random things that pop in my head in the afternoon when I type up my gratitude’s.  But I'm also the same age as some of their children.  Having these ladies on the distribution list also means I have to keep things clean.  Because I'm pretty glad for kissing and hugging but I'm doubly glad for the naughty things done in bedrooms, cars or closets...I'm grateful for Mr Burke in a lot of ways...

But my gratitude is genuine. And I find it refreshing because I was just about the most miserable person in the world and even worse than miserable to be around. I couldn’t muster enough good attitude to get out of a funk or even care if you were affected by my bad attitude. I could put together a list of things I was NOT grateful for and probably not repeat for a couple of months. I can still make those lists and have occasionally done with my daily list to the ladies but it’s more about the things I have no control over, things that are a nuisance but never devastating.  Like I'm not grateful for 4pm meetings on Friday.  I'm not grateful for the price of a Diet Coke and how it seems to be going up...I'm ungrateful for the small things.

The idea of the gratitude list was to find that I was not as miserable as I liked to think I was. That there were some really great things in my life. And by doing it every day, I’ve found that my life is pretty damn good. I’ve got crap in my life but NOWHERE near the shit storm I perceived my life to be. Yeah, I’m short in money (who isn’t). I’d like to be thinner. I’d like to have straight hair. Heck, I’d like to be able to run a mile in a sports bra and not look like I’m a tidal wave. But those are things that are neither life threatening nor unobtainable. I’m grateful that I can have goals to work towards.

So I give you a challenge. Go 30 days with doing a gratitude list (with 5 things on it). Invite others to do it with you. Try to keep it to no repeats. Find out what you have in life and how grateful you are for them. And if nothing else…realize that you are grateful for the little things because your life is full of them and they are making it worthwhile. Even if it is a mechanical pencil you're grateful for.