Grateful for so much

Back in December of 2009, I started doing a gratitude list. 5 things I was grateful for, for that day. I started doing this with a girl that I was sponsoring. We were going to do it every day for 30 days. No repeats and it had to be 5. She made it about 15 days and then went back out drinking. I haven’t seen or talked to her since. That was my very first sponsee…kind of took that one hard. I was not grateful for that. Although I am grateful for her being in my life at that time. She definitely helped keep me sober.

Around this time I asked my Mom to do the same thing. After 30 days I typed up what she had been grateful for and sent it to her. Giving her 150 things she found worthwhile. It was kind of cool.

But I didn’t stop there. I kept going and so did Mom. Every day, it was 5 things grateful for but this time we could repeat. And we have been doing that for over 10 months. Mom has added about 8 ladies to the list now, all friends of her on-line group or through sewing/quilting groups. They have been so nice to me and they are all so loving. I’m truly grateful for them!

But I find myself grateful for my powdered drink mix, binder clips, definitely mechanical pencils (I’m in love with them) and Facebook. Those are kind of random ones but I find that all of mine are kind of random. Here are some of the things I’ve been grateful for:

• Yahoo Messenger so I can "talk" to Burke
• Meeting the other Cube Car owners tonight
• NO MEETINGS!!!!!!!
• My iTouch
• My ability to somewhat calmly reschedule my work load
• I managed to get to work before 8am!
• McDonald's Dollar Menu
• On-line ability to check accounts
• Cheaper gas is Missouri
• This is day 5 of no soda and I'm feeling good
• Skype
• Highway I35 for getting me from one door to another
• Hearing my dogs snore
• That I've built up a trust in my life that I never had before
• That it's only 3:21pm on Sunday...I still have hours to go before bed and then the dreaded Monday
• Quik Trip
• Budget (not really grateful but kind of grateful)
• Sewing Expo
• Got to leave work at 3pm
• Jeans that "give a little" when I need it
• That I have a job that allows me to stay home and work
• Apple TV and able to choose movies for free
• Long hot showers
• Most of the girls outside my office are out for the day - YEAH!!!
• My ability to keep a straight face when I am told a highly ridiculous excuse
• Honey Mustard flavored Pringles
• God for allowing me to remain on this planet and live a life that I am finding is worth living
• Microsoft Excel spreadsheets
• Honey Crisp Apples
• Chapstick
• Sewing machine is working!!!!
• The ability to restrain myself from snapping when someone says I look like a big pumpkin because I'm wearing an orange top...(they better have not meant that I look like a big FAT pumpkin)

 That’s one of the 5 for the last 30 days. It’s amazing how many of the other ladies put the weather, God (although it’s only through him), their kids or grand kids or friends on-line. I guess I’m more of a instantaneous grateful person and its random things that pop in my head in the afternoon when I type up my gratitude’s.  But I'm also the same age as some of their children.  Having these ladies on the distribution list also means I have to keep things clean.  Because I'm pretty glad for kissing and hugging but I'm doubly glad for the naughty things done in bedrooms, cars or closets...I'm grateful for Mr Burke in a lot of ways...

But my gratitude is genuine. And I find it refreshing because I was just about the most miserable person in the world and even worse than miserable to be around. I couldn’t muster enough good attitude to get out of a funk or even care if you were affected by my bad attitude. I could put together a list of things I was NOT grateful for and probably not repeat for a couple of months. I can still make those lists and have occasionally done with my daily list to the ladies but it’s more about the things I have no control over, things that are a nuisance but never devastating.  Like I'm not grateful for 4pm meetings on Friday.  I'm not grateful for the price of a Diet Coke and how it seems to be going up...I'm ungrateful for the small things.

The idea of the gratitude list was to find that I was not as miserable as I liked to think I was. That there were some really great things in my life. And by doing it every day, I’ve found that my life is pretty damn good. I’ve got crap in my life but NOWHERE near the shit storm I perceived my life to be. Yeah, I’m short in money (who isn’t). I’d like to be thinner. I’d like to have straight hair. Heck, I’d like to be able to run a mile in a sports bra and not look like I’m a tidal wave. But those are things that are neither life threatening nor unobtainable. I’m grateful that I can have goals to work towards.

So I give you a challenge. Go 30 days with doing a gratitude list (with 5 things on it). Invite others to do it with you. Try to keep it to no repeats. Find out what you have in life and how grateful you are for them. And if nothing else…realize that you are grateful for the little things because your life is full of them and they are making it worthwhile. Even if it is a mechanical pencil you're grateful for.

30 days of posting

 I'm totally stealing this from a blog I came across. I've since lost who the blog was between copy and pasting. My Internet Explorer crashed on me between them and luckily I tend to start my posts in Word to make sure all my grammar and spelling are correct so I didn’t lose this whole thing…just the blog I was on to swipe this from. F'ing Microsoft bastards.


I like the idea of opening up a little bit about myself and letting all 3 (yes...I now have 3 followers!!!!! I'm going pro!) people that follow my blog know so much about me. So here is what I'm going to write about for the next 30 days:


Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself



Just to set expectations now….don't expect a post every single day for the next 30 'cause that’s a pretty big commitment and I just know me. Now, I could surprise all of us and do it every day. Don’t be upset if we’re doing this over the next 3 months…I do promise to have this done before January 1!!


So, Day 1 -- here's something I hate about myself: I hate my desperate and pathetic need to be the center of attention. I like to think I'm a confident person who likes who she is and believes in herself, but my perverse need for attention stands in stark contrast to that perception. I try very hard to be less of an attention-whore, but I just don't have as much fun socially if I'm not dominating the conversation or having everyone all around me hang on every word of my fascinating stories Fortunately I'm blessed to have friends who don't seem to care and love me anyway even though I hog the spotlight, but I still feel like a dick the next day when I realize how much of a jerk I was. I really beat myself up over this but I can't seem to stop.



Well, that was fun! Let's hope Day 2 can keep this momentum going!