Showing posts with label willow. Show all posts
Showing posts with label willow. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Bleh
Work is going better but that's because I've stopped wishing it was different and just working at what I have the ability to change. I think I'm going to be OK at work but I also need to make sure everyone else knows that. But nothing fantastic about it. Just maintaining...
Home life is OK. I'm still getting used to a roommate. Only been 3 months so I'm learning. I spend a lot of time in my room because I just don't want to watch as much TV as she does. Plus I have projects to work on that take more of my time and its easier to be somewhere a little quieter. We had one knock down drag out and that was because of me. I walking into the conversation mad about it and I took it out on her. We're still tip toeing around each other for that. I "won" but at what cost? So....just maintaining.
Money is MUCH worse. My student loan kicked in and I can't get it to "turn off". So I am paying a lot of money I don't really have to do this. I need to do some calling and I need to work with them to get it lowered at least....but, I'm maintaining (barely)
My desire to lose weight hasn't diminished but my willingness had. The last week (which is never a determining factor for me) has me doing all the right things. Walking every day, cutting WAY back on soda and eating regular, healthy meals. I've lost 7 pounds but since I'm never consistent, this could go away. So I'll say I'm maintaining for now. Give me another 2 weeks and I'll start talking.
Willow is probably the only thing that I feel I am excelling at. Every day we get closer and she starts to trust me more. I actually got her on her back the other day so I could rub her belly. Lasted for all of 20 seconds but it was there....We're definitely bonding. Holding on to maintaining because I think we're almost excelling.
Christmas is 54 days away. I'm putting up my tree this weekend. I know, I know...it's too early but I'm a rebel. I like to go against what others do. So I will probably put it up and just listen to Christmas music until New Years Eve...I love this time of the year. Never did before, felt it was too much pressure to get the right gift and have the perfect tree. Now, I have a fake tree that leans to the left and ornaments that don't match. Still try to match and look perfect but the overall effect is that I love watching the lights stay solid...hope to do more then maintain.
That's about it....
Home life is OK. I'm still getting used to a roommate. Only been 3 months so I'm learning. I spend a lot of time in my room because I just don't want to watch as much TV as she does. Plus I have projects to work on that take more of my time and its easier to be somewhere a little quieter. We had one knock down drag out and that was because of me. I walking into the conversation mad about it and I took it out on her. We're still tip toeing around each other for that. I "won" but at what cost? So....just maintaining.
Money is MUCH worse. My student loan kicked in and I can't get it to "turn off". So I am paying a lot of money I don't really have to do this. I need to do some calling and I need to work with them to get it lowered at least....but, I'm maintaining (barely)
My desire to lose weight hasn't diminished but my willingness had. The last week (which is never a determining factor for me) has me doing all the right things. Walking every day, cutting WAY back on soda and eating regular, healthy meals. I've lost 7 pounds but since I'm never consistent, this could go away. So I'll say I'm maintaining for now. Give me another 2 weeks and I'll start talking.
Willow is probably the only thing that I feel I am excelling at. Every day we get closer and she starts to trust me more. I actually got her on her back the other day so I could rub her belly. Lasted for all of 20 seconds but it was there....We're definitely bonding. Holding on to maintaining because I think we're almost excelling.
Christmas is 54 days away. I'm putting up my tree this weekend. I know, I know...it's too early but I'm a rebel. I like to go against what others do. So I will probably put it up and just listen to Christmas music until New Years Eve...I love this time of the year. Never did before, felt it was too much pressure to get the right gift and have the perfect tree. Now, I have a fake tree that leans to the left and ornaments that don't match. Still try to match and look perfect but the overall effect is that I love watching the lights stay solid...hope to do more then maintain.
That's about it....
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| This is now, in fact, my spot |
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| I alone, can keep the world at bay |
Friday, September 30, 2011
Only a mother could love her looks
I absolutely adore Willow. I loved The Dogs (Mighty Milo and Sissy Girl); I don't think anyone would argue that. But they were old when they passed. I really don't remember them as puppies. I mean there are specific episodes that I remember but I just remember them being casual and relaxed. Not as an excuse for why I feel like I love Willow more but more so people remember that I loved them. They were great dogs.
And I think there is a little bit of guilt around this. I feel like I've forgotten Milo and Sammie. I feel like I was a horrible parent and didn't let them be a true dog. I abused them by not letting them be on the couches. I never took them to a dog park, they didn't have bones on a regular basis....yadda yadda yadda. I struggle with all of that...
But Willow absolutely makes me laugh out loud. She gets so excited to see me. She will launch herself at me when I sit down on the floor to see her. She talks to me all the time. I understand that dogs "don't talk" but I assure you that Willow does. If she gets irritated with something or someone, she will grumble and snort. She knows when shes in trouble because she'll start meowing at me to forgive her. And she will groan and grumble when I come home and she is so excited to see me. I love coming home!
So, with this new love of my life, I'm a different kind of dog owner. She is on the couches (which was a HUGE no-no with The Dogs). I have been known to give her VERY small bites of human food. But that is going to stop. Human Food is for Humans....and she has 3 bones every day (which she loves and reminds me to give her them several times a day)
And for all those people that I made fun of for dressing their dogs....I apologize. That's an official apology. Those don't come from me very often.
So I have a nice little wardrobe for her in the colder months. My reasoning is because she has so little hair and so she'll get cold easily. Which my vet confirmed but wouldn't go on record saying that I should buy her clothes. Guess she didn't want to have to do that for everyone.
But I have found an all new level. HALLOWEEN!!!! Yes people, Willow has her own Halloween costume. I honestly wasn't planning on a costume, I just stumbled onto them at Target. This is actually Crawford's fault...she talked me into going to Target. Or I could have talked her into it but lets stick with it being Crawford's fault.
But to me, she is gorgeous.....
And I think there is a little bit of guilt around this. I feel like I've forgotten Milo and Sammie. I feel like I was a horrible parent and didn't let them be a true dog. I abused them by not letting them be on the couches. I never took them to a dog park, they didn't have bones on a regular basis....yadda yadda yadda. I struggle with all of that...
But Willow absolutely makes me laugh out loud. She gets so excited to see me. She will launch herself at me when I sit down on the floor to see her. She talks to me all the time. I understand that dogs "don't talk" but I assure you that Willow does. If she gets irritated with something or someone, she will grumble and snort. She knows when shes in trouble because she'll start meowing at me to forgive her. And she will groan and grumble when I come home and she is so excited to see me. I love coming home!
So, with this new love of my life, I'm a different kind of dog owner. She is on the couches (which was a HUGE no-no with The Dogs). I have been known to give her VERY small bites of human food. But that is going to stop. Human Food is for Humans....and she has 3 bones every day (which she loves and reminds me to give her them several times a day)
And for all those people that I made fun of for dressing their dogs....I apologize. That's an official apology. Those don't come from me very often.
So I have a nice little wardrobe for her in the colder months. My reasoning is because she has so little hair and so she'll get cold easily. Which my vet confirmed but wouldn't go on record saying that I should buy her clothes. Guess she didn't want to have to do that for everyone.
But I have found an all new level. HALLOWEEN!!!! Yes people, Willow has her own Halloween costume. I honestly wasn't planning on a costume, I just stumbled onto them at Target. This is actually Crawford's fault...she talked me into going to Target. Or I could have talked her into it but lets stick with it being Crawford's fault.
I bought the shark one first and then found that she had a hard time jumping up on things. So I went with the bat one. I need to make some alterations to the bat one but not a lot.
Starting October 1st, on our nightly walks, she's Willow the Bat Girl!!!
And since we're showing each other our kid's photos....
She has taken to sleeping on the "bolster" I have at the top of the bed. I used to use that as my pillow but she took this over and I have, yet, to take control back. And not just with reclaiming my pillow; this dog walks all over me.
I can't remember if I ever posted this but this was the result of our very first walk. I don't think she had ever been walked or on a leash and she was not happy about it at the time. I ended up dragging her several feet before I turned around and found this situation.
I know, by all standards and others eschewed vision of beauty, this dog would be called ugly. And I'm very biased... she is probably so ugly that she's cute...that's how others have explained that.
But to me, she is gorgeous.....
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| Deep Thoughts by Willow Grace |
Friday, September 2, 2011
Brick by Brick
Many years of therapy and beating my head against an invisible wall that seemed to follow me wherever I go, I have learned about what happens to you when you don’t have boundaries. Some of those experiences are great reminders and dear to me. Most of them, unfortunately, were because I wasn’t paying attention and several of THOSE times I came away with a puzzled look on my face and saying “What the fuck just happened?” That happens more often then I’d like to admit. So when I say I have learned to build boundaries, I mean that whole heartily. And I’m proud of some of the things I’ve done as a result of those lessons.
Most of the time, I ask questions around subjects that I don’t understand because typically I would just do what I thought I was supposed to do and ultimately I ended up embarrassed and a little jaded. I call that my pause moment. Instead of reacting immediately; usually before the person finishes, I pause and gather my thoughts. I kind of like the idea of being collected enough to represent myself in a conversation and not take the whole conversation hostage.
I get taken advantage of sometimes in my pursuit to be liked. I would just ignore my needs and beliefs in order to ensure that person would think highly of me. I would compromise my ideas and morals because I didn’t think someone would find value in them; they would not support me. My feelings were hurt on many occasions. The irony is that I never really had “feelings” to hurt in my mind, I still walked around as though I was indestructible. In reality, they added a layer or two to the growing wall around my soul and heart. I constantly walked around with a sound of grinding bricks in my chest. No one would ever totally be able to touch those things inside. But I have found that I don’t want that to be the case. I really want to let someone inside and that means boundaries. If I know what I’m willing to allow, then I know when I can say no. I know how to defend myself. And that defending myself doesn’t look like I bring the depths of hell with me because I don’t dare show weakness and just trying to annihilate you means I keep my pride. I go a little theatrical sometimes.
Those are “my” boundaries but really they are situational boundaries. The big ones I have learned are within me. The big one is to remember that I don’t have the right to abuse myself because I would never do that to another person. I have no right to berate myself by saying such horrible things. The voices in my head do not get to take me hostage and slowly tear me apart and I lose all concepts of pride, love and worth. Learning boundaries with that one has become my Emmy Nomination. I may not win the award but I’m honored to be nominated.
So, with all that said….I have very little boundaries with Willow. She just struts around knowing I will do very little to correct things. I let her on the furniture; which NEVER happened with The Dogs. I let her have treats and to beg for more will deliver more. She takes up half my bed most of the time but so far its been “her side” and “my side”….until recently. I shake my head at myself with this one. I have no idea why I let this happen but it has. I have a body pillow that I actually stretch across the top of the bed. It’s my pillow and she has taken to sleeping on top of that pillow. The last 4 or so days, I have lost my pillow. Completely. I am now sleeping on another pillow, on the other side of the bed.
I know I’m the human and I have all the authority. But I just can’t say no…she looks so cute. I’m sure she’ll move onto another portion of the bed soon enough.
Boundaries Shannon….boundaries…..
Most of the time, I ask questions around subjects that I don’t understand because typically I would just do what I thought I was supposed to do and ultimately I ended up embarrassed and a little jaded. I call that my pause moment. Instead of reacting immediately; usually before the person finishes, I pause and gather my thoughts. I kind of like the idea of being collected enough to represent myself in a conversation and not take the whole conversation hostage.
I get taken advantage of sometimes in my pursuit to be liked. I would just ignore my needs and beliefs in order to ensure that person would think highly of me. I would compromise my ideas and morals because I didn’t think someone would find value in them; they would not support me. My feelings were hurt on many occasions. The irony is that I never really had “feelings” to hurt in my mind, I still walked around as though I was indestructible. In reality, they added a layer or two to the growing wall around my soul and heart. I constantly walked around with a sound of grinding bricks in my chest. No one would ever totally be able to touch those things inside. But I have found that I don’t want that to be the case. I really want to let someone inside and that means boundaries. If I know what I’m willing to allow, then I know when I can say no. I know how to defend myself. And that defending myself doesn’t look like I bring the depths of hell with me because I don’t dare show weakness and just trying to annihilate you means I keep my pride. I go a little theatrical sometimes.
Those are “my” boundaries but really they are situational boundaries. The big ones I have learned are within me. The big one is to remember that I don’t have the right to abuse myself because I would never do that to another person. I have no right to berate myself by saying such horrible things. The voices in my head do not get to take me hostage and slowly tear me apart and I lose all concepts of pride, love and worth. Learning boundaries with that one has become my Emmy Nomination. I may not win the award but I’m honored to be nominated.
So, with all that said….I have very little boundaries with Willow. She just struts around knowing I will do very little to correct things. I let her on the furniture; which NEVER happened with The Dogs. I let her have treats and to beg for more will deliver more. She takes up half my bed most of the time but so far its been “her side” and “my side”….until recently. I shake my head at myself with this one. I have no idea why I let this happen but it has. I have a body pillow that I actually stretch across the top of the bed. It’s my pillow and she has taken to sleeping on top of that pillow. The last 4 or so days, I have lost my pillow. Completely. I am now sleeping on another pillow, on the other side of the bed.
I know I’m the human and I have all the authority. But I just can’t say no…she looks so cute. I’m sure she’ll move onto another portion of the bed soon enough.
Boundaries Shannon….boundaries…..
Friday, June 3, 2011
Countdown
Here's how this is going to go....
1. I am going to send out one last email to my Mother to assure her that I'm not going to end up in some crack den off Troost Avenue and have a new boyfriend named Wooshie Washington (I have actually seen a person names Wooshie - I'm hoping its a nickname).
2. I have a list of projects and books I'm going to work on or get involved in. I don't expect I'll get all of them done but I do want at least one project and one book finished.
3. I have a list of all chores I would like to get done. Mainly my laundry and dishes. I'll work on the vacuuming and cleaning my room when I find the time.
4. I have a small supply of chocolate and fruits. Chocolate because Aunt Flo is craving it and fruits because that is the sweetest stuff I'm going to be eating for the next 40 days.
5. Notebooks to write in. I have this one notebook made out of a music album (ABBA!!!!!) and it's a bit bigger then normal. I've been doodling a lot in it. I used to have a really hard time doodling. Mainly because I tried too hard to make it look cute....casual too...I never really succeeded.
6. Willow - she is 3,000 times better today. I took her to the vet and have her on some pain meds. She kind of strained her neck (not sure how) and its like I have my puppy back. Hopefully she'll be on the mend and the next 2 days will be better then before
7. My iPod. Because I won't open my computer, I have to have music on my iPod. I spent a whole night getting my iPod updated. I think I'm going to really like the different music.
8. Energy....I'm actually really looking forward to this. I want to relax and just be present. Cuddle with Willow and meditate on what I have in my life.
Now....this could all fall apart around 8:27 tonight. Turning everything off is going to drive me crazy, I know this. And its not because I just can't be unplugged, its because I will be totally alone. Something I don't like being anymore. So this is just as much of a lesson for me to get off the grid but its also going to teach me that being alone is not bad....but if you would like to visit, I think most of you have my address. Bring a date...we'll get this party jumping. I suspect that this will be in my head all weekend...
1. I am going to send out one last email to my Mother to assure her that I'm not going to end up in some crack den off Troost Avenue and have a new boyfriend named Wooshie Washington (I have actually seen a person names Wooshie - I'm hoping its a nickname).
2. I have a list of projects and books I'm going to work on or get involved in. I don't expect I'll get all of them done but I do want at least one project and one book finished.
3. I have a list of all chores I would like to get done. Mainly my laundry and dishes. I'll work on the vacuuming and cleaning my room when I find the time.
4. I have a small supply of chocolate and fruits. Chocolate because Aunt Flo is craving it and fruits because that is the sweetest stuff I'm going to be eating for the next 40 days.
5. Notebooks to write in. I have this one notebook made out of a music album (ABBA!!!!!) and it's a bit bigger then normal. I've been doodling a lot in it. I used to have a really hard time doodling. Mainly because I tried too hard to make it look cute....casual too...I never really succeeded.
6. Willow - she is 3,000 times better today. I took her to the vet and have her on some pain meds. She kind of strained her neck (not sure how) and its like I have my puppy back. Hopefully she'll be on the mend and the next 2 days will be better then before
7. My iPod. Because I won't open my computer, I have to have music on my iPod. I spent a whole night getting my iPod updated. I think I'm going to really like the different music.
8. Energy....I'm actually really looking forward to this. I want to relax and just be present. Cuddle with Willow and meditate on what I have in my life.
Now....this could all fall apart around 8:27 tonight. Turning everything off is going to drive me crazy, I know this. And its not because I just can't be unplugged, its because I will be totally alone. Something I don't like being anymore. So this is just as much of a lesson for me to get off the grid but its also going to teach me that being alone is not bad....but if you would like to visit, I think most of you have my address. Bring a date...we'll get this party jumping. I suspect that this will be in my head all weekend...
Word to your Mother!
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
The why of the matter....and then pictures
I was reading one of the other 48 blogs I follow and I found myself yawning through some of them. I kind of did that snobby thing where I asked myself why the hell did I continue to read these blogs over and over again. Nothing original in them. They pontificate about this that and the other. I was tired of reading someones attempt to sound cool or in the know. Then I asked myself why the hell did I blog about things? I know there has to be people out there reading me (not just the 4 I see) and I have to wonder if I am writing anything original or if I am pontificating about things.
I know for a fact that I didn't start this to make a sensation. At the point of the beginning of this blog, I was only reading one blog. And that was a blog that I had been reading many years prior to the first post on my blog. This guy had a lot of followers and was super funny. He would talk about guy things (like poop etc) and I really enjoyed that. Tells you something about me. And then things started happening, he was recognized for his blog by People Magazine, he was one of the 100 beautiful people in that year. And that was fantastic. Until he stopped blogging because he was writing a book. I kind of got a little bitter because I had spent some wonderful years slacking off at work so I could read him. Fucker let success go to his head. Although I am friends with him personally on Facebook and follow his FB page for his book. I still enjoy reading his blog.
So, why do I blog? I don't really know. I had a great story or two that I thought people might like. Vanity I'm sure. I've always wanted people to laugh at stuff I say. I want to bring insight to others...albeit sarcastically. And I went through a period there where I didn't blog at all. I had so much crappy things to say that I just didn't feel like even opening up over that.
Now, I read a couple of blogs and I am fascinated with how they communicate. What pose they put around their thoughts. I don't think I'll ever be like that. But I think I'm good for a couple poop and fart jokes!
I feel like I should have a theme and I don't have one. I should be more organized with my thoughts and have really great stories to tell. I don't put together posts well before I post. I tend to just write what is on my mind and go from there. So I'm a little disjointed and probably not as entertaining as I think I am. But it's good therapy for me, it gives me an outlet to get stuff out of my head. I had that 30 days of posting that would allow me to post something for 30+ days around topics I got from another blogger. That gave me something to write about.
So I think I"m going to make a more formal approach for this blog. I think I'm going to give myself an opportunity (not necessarily that I HAVE to do it each week) to talk about something each week. I'm going to have a picture of the week and give background or comments on it. And then I'm going to have a day where I post about something I found funny that day. Not that I am going to post 2 times every week. That's leaves me with too much of an opportunity to fail. No, I"m giving myself some structure. And I am always in need of structure.
Picture of the day:
I have become obsessed about Willow's attitude lately. She seems withdrawn and almost pouty. She just isn't herself but I'm being told that I'm over analyzing so I've been keeping it to myself. But right now, she's upstairs on the bed and I'm downstairs in the livingroom. In the 3+ weeks I've had her, she hasn't been away from me for more then a minute or two. Let alone a full level away. So I'm not sure what is going on. My fear is that I am actually losing my dog. She's stopped liking me or at least done kissing my ass for saving her. I now have a dog that elusive and cold....I see the irony in that; I'm elusive and cold. All I wanted was a dog that was like The Dogs...I'm getting one that doesn't particularly want to be around me. Awesome! I'm pouting a bit and I'm a little hurt. It may be something that changes any day down the road but for the last 5 or 6 days, she's been distant. But it is what it is...we'll get to a point that she'll be comfortable and so will I. I just need to stop being unreasonable and over obsessive. That's not helping the matter.
So the picture of the week...I took this picture of Willow the other day and thought it was pretty close to the bat picture. I have to admit that she's cute but people still think she's "ugly"...either way, I love her.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Milo James
Milo was a God send. I had no intention of having a dog. My parents had a dog all my life but it was never my dog.
I moved away from my family for my 23rd year. I honestly can't remember when I moved away and when I moved back. I know it was over a year but not sure exactly when.
I went to a PetsMart one day with my sis-in-law, for her to get some treats for their dog and that is when I met the love of my life. He pushed his way into my lap in a ring of other dogs looking for attention. He literally curled up in my lap. He took my heart then and I filled out the paperwork immediately for adoption. Never mind the rental agreement at the apartment complex or my roommate. I did not discuss this decision with anyone...
The first year was so much fun. I'd drink and pass out for hours. Milo would go hungry and thirsty for hours on end. When I start to drink, I would get angry. Why was all this on me? Why did I have to do these things? So I lash out at Milo and did terrible things to him. Through it all, he loved me and never shied away from me. He was a great dog.
Milo and I moved back to live with my parents and I quickly met and married the practice husband. I think he was a little jealous of my relationship with Milo. And he had a right to be. I loved Milo completely, without holding things back. Not fair to the practice husband because I couldn't do that with him. Part of the reason for the divorce.Milo became an old man. He loved to roll around on his back in the middle of the livingroom. He would spend an obscene amount of time staring at you if you had something that smelled good (or bad for that matter.)
He took to laying in weird places.
But he never changed. He still loved me and would still bump his head into my lap or under my chin. He wouldn't move as fast as he used to but he managed to make the jump up and down from the very tall bed I slept in and managed to find his spot on the bed with him at my feet.
His passing has been horrible. It's only been about 2 weeks and I can't believe he's gone. I can't believe they are BOTH gone. After I found out about Willow coming sooner, I started crying. I stood in front of their pictures and cried and talked to them. I wanted them to know that I was not loving them any less and I definitely did not think she was going to replace them in my heart. But I was so miserable about sleeping alone and being alone in the house. I hadn't been alone for over 14 years. I didn't like it.
So, I miss my little man. I want him back. I would do A LOT if I thought it would bring him back. But it's not going to happen. I have so little amount of control over that. So I'm spending my next several years with a new baby. She'll be a good addition to my life.
Friday, May 6, 2011
I'm going to be a momma
I'm sure that title is going to make some people take a double look. I'm even cringing at it. I am, in no way shape or form, meant to be a mother. I know this and I'm actually REALLY OK with that. But I am going to be a momma to a special little dog.
I tend to want things to happen quickly and in the manner I prefer. Its the control freak in me. I will spend an obscene amount of time manipulating things to get my way and then will throw the biggest hissy fit a 36 year old can throw if I don't get my way. I will punch you in the throat to get my way.
Until today. I was pressing pretty hard to get help and supplies and ultimately my way and then everything turned to the way I wanted to go and I've kind of freaked out about it.
I have a new dog. Well, I will tonight....it's 4:30 in the morning so technically today but this started yesterday. I have been looking at petfinder.com for the last week and narrowed it down to a few specific dogs. I didn't really look at breeds until I narrowed it down a bit and then I expanded my search a bit for that specific breed. I found quite a few in the area and started contacting the agencies to talk about what I would need to do to start the adoption process.
Do you know how difficult it is to adopt a dog in Kansas City? Some of the rescue agencies are so strict that I wouldn't qualify. I'm like the perfect owner but because I don't have a fenced yard....that was a huge deal breaker for these people. That and have you ever returned a pet to the pound/humane society. I never have but was surprised that it was question #2.
And going through the pound or humane society was full of large dogs. Sissy Girl was pretty big and I didn't like that. Milo was even fairly large at 30 pounds. This time around I was knowingly going in looking for smaller dogs. Apparently small dogs are in now and so I was having a hard time finding one.
Until I met Ciara. She's a Boston Terrier (so think smashed face, 12 pounds, black & white and drooling). I'm sorry but I'm so in love with this dog and I haven't met her. Just talking to Casey with the rescue group in Warsaw, MO....she's going to be great. I actually didn't do my norm and just wing it. I looked at websites. I read reviews, pros and cons. I asked people's opinion. And I listened.
I thought I was going to have to wait a few weeks to get a chance to see her and hopefully bring her home. I found out that I could do it this weekend and so it because a scheduling matter with Casey and myself. So around 4:00 yesterday I knew I was getting Ciara at 5:30pm today.
I started shopping as soon as I got home. I have a kennel, a toy, puppy pads, harness and leash. I think I'm going to be "that person" and have clothes for her. She has such a small amount of hair so she can get hot or cold easily. I'm ashamed to say I have several sweaters and t-shirts for her. I know, I have to go back and apologize to all the people I poked fun at in the past. I am honestly apologetic because I am so looking forward to finding shirts for her. I actually have a few ideas I want to make for her, I just have to look for a pattern. Some of these clothes are super cheap looking, I think I can do better.
Now, I'm changing Ciara's name to Willow. I think I'll be OK with getting her switched. Just takes repetition and she'll eventually get it. I am not fond of the Ciara name and for some reason Willow sounds good to me.
So I think I'm as "puppy" proof as I can be. I've bought things I think she'll like but I have also made sure to not buy things until I know she wants/needs them. I'm trying to not throw things at her so she'll like me. Its either meant to be or not...God will make it right.
But this boils down to one thing and that is at 5:30 tonight I am going to be looked over (by Casey the woman and Ciara the dog), sniffed, promptly sneezed on and then a decision will be made. I just hope that I'm the one that leaves with a dog. My heart is really set on Willow.
I tend to want things to happen quickly and in the manner I prefer. Its the control freak in me. I will spend an obscene amount of time manipulating things to get my way and then will throw the biggest hissy fit a 36 year old can throw if I don't get my way. I will punch you in the throat to get my way.
Until today. I was pressing pretty hard to get help and supplies and ultimately my way and then everything turned to the way I wanted to go and I've kind of freaked out about it.
I have a new dog. Well, I will tonight....it's 4:30 in the morning so technically today but this started yesterday. I have been looking at petfinder.com for the last week and narrowed it down to a few specific dogs. I didn't really look at breeds until I narrowed it down a bit and then I expanded my search a bit for that specific breed. I found quite a few in the area and started contacting the agencies to talk about what I would need to do to start the adoption process.
Do you know how difficult it is to adopt a dog in Kansas City? Some of the rescue agencies are so strict that I wouldn't qualify. I'm like the perfect owner but because I don't have a fenced yard....that was a huge deal breaker for these people. That and have you ever returned a pet to the pound/humane society. I never have but was surprised that it was question #2.
And going through the pound or humane society was full of large dogs. Sissy Girl was pretty big and I didn't like that. Milo was even fairly large at 30 pounds. This time around I was knowingly going in looking for smaller dogs. Apparently small dogs are in now and so I was having a hard time finding one.
Until I met Ciara. She's a Boston Terrier (so think smashed face, 12 pounds, black & white and drooling). I'm sorry but I'm so in love with this dog and I haven't met her. Just talking to Casey with the rescue group in Warsaw, MO....she's going to be great. I actually didn't do my norm and just wing it. I looked at websites. I read reviews, pros and cons. I asked people's opinion. And I listened.
I thought I was going to have to wait a few weeks to get a chance to see her and hopefully bring her home. I found out that I could do it this weekend and so it because a scheduling matter with Casey and myself. So around 4:00 yesterday I knew I was getting Ciara at 5:30pm today.
I started shopping as soon as I got home. I have a kennel, a toy, puppy pads, harness and leash. I think I'm going to be "that person" and have clothes for her. She has such a small amount of hair so she can get hot or cold easily. I'm ashamed to say I have several sweaters and t-shirts for her. I know, I have to go back and apologize to all the people I poked fun at in the past. I am honestly apologetic because I am so looking forward to finding shirts for her. I actually have a few ideas I want to make for her, I just have to look for a pattern. Some of these clothes are super cheap looking, I think I can do better.
Now, I'm changing Ciara's name to Willow. I think I'll be OK with getting her switched. Just takes repetition and she'll eventually get it. I am not fond of the Ciara name and for some reason Willow sounds good to me.
So I think I'm as "puppy" proof as I can be. I've bought things I think she'll like but I have also made sure to not buy things until I know she wants/needs them. I'm trying to not throw things at her so she'll like me. Its either meant to be or not...God will make it right.
But this boils down to one thing and that is at 5:30 tonight I am going to be looked over (by Casey the woman and Ciara the dog), sniffed, promptly sneezed on and then a decision will be made. I just hope that I'm the one that leaves with a dog. My heart is really set on Willow.
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| Ciara's Petfinder.com picture |
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