Re-Plugged

Off Grid 2011

Kennedy Edition

Yeah, so the Off Grid weekend was not stellar. Mostly because I was just so not in the mood. I started off with great intentions but then I had a friend come over Friday night and that kind of put me in the mood to fuck off.  So I watched a movie and then a TV episode and then another.  And, around 9:30 pm...I realized that I was "On the Grid" and loving it.

I went to bed early and slept late.  Which is kind of my MO....and then I kind of did nothing.  I really am not sure what I did on Saturday so its a loss.  Sunday is when I hit my stride.  I finished 3 projects that I had started so very long ago.

Purple Scarf

My new little monster

Felted hearts for gifts to friends

So Sunday was a really productive day of the Off Grid 2011. I kind of got in the groove.

Going into 2012...I'm going to become a little more prepared. Maybe literally unplug things.  Write up a schedule and try to stick to it.  Maybe have a cause or something that keeps me engaged? I don't know.  I just think it's something I'll have to make special so I can make it through and feel like I'm making a difference. Even if it is only in my little world.

I'll start the campaign early next year and see who I can get enrolled in the cause. I hope to have a definition around the campaign so we know why it is we're doing this.  Other then to prove that I can step away from my digital life. What are we unplugging? Our minds or our footprint?

Porn in the worst way

Yes, I said porn.  I'm not too shy to admit that I have seen a few movies. I don't find anything about the ones I've seen to be taking advantage of women (or men in some instances) or even dirty. I'm sure that is because I don't find a lot of things dirty. If someone thinks it up and does it, it's not dirty to them.  If I do something others think is dirty...I'm pretty sure I don't think its dirty.  People need to keep their nosey noses to themselves.  If you don't like it, stop watching/listening/reading it and go take a nap.

Anywhooooo....where was I going with this?  Maybe because some time ago I stumbled onto a free porn site while looking for a different website.  That was enlightening....kind of took my time looking through that one.  I've always been a nosey one...

What the real reason for this post is that I find myself surrounded by the worst sort of porn for this person...a lady at work is thinking about starting to knit and wanted to just go look at yarn; kind of help her get motivated.  I, of course, offered to go with her and well, the rest is history.  Really not history but rather a porn movie with my favorite past-time rolling around on the floor with yarn, needles and many many different "tools" that can be used for pleasure. It involved putting things on and taking some things off.  There was the time that yarn fell and a bunch of it fell out of the cardboard wrap. It kind of got sweaty when we had to bend over so many times to look at all the different things on the shelves...I had to get a bottle of water I was so thirsty....

Came home and looked on YouTube and found a bunch of videos on how to do this, that and the other. Some are hard to see and some are so instructional.  Really a lot to choose from.

I could take this up a notch or two but thought I'd keep it rated PG.  Needless to say, I always get a little excited about what yarn I could use with whatever project I'm thinking about doing.  I really really want to learn more stitches but I haven't been able to pick them up in the book I bought.  I'm going to rewatch some of the video's on YouTube and see what I can find about the seed stitch and the cable stitch.  I have a lot of ideas for those in my life and I better get started now.

Countdown

Here's how this is going to go....

1. I am going to send out one last email to my Mother to assure her that I'm not going to end up in some crack den off Troost Avenue and have a new boyfriend named Wooshie Washington (I have actually seen a person names Wooshie - I'm hoping its a nickname).

2. I have a list of projects and books I'm going to work on or get involved in.  I don't expect I'll get all of them done but I do want at least one project and one book finished.

3.  I have a list of all chores I would like to get done.  Mainly my laundry and dishes.  I'll work on the vacuuming and cleaning my room when I find the time.

4. I have a small supply of chocolate and fruits. Chocolate because Aunt Flo is craving it and fruits because that is the sweetest stuff I'm going to be eating for the next 40 days.

5. Notebooks to write in.  I have this one notebook made out of a music album (ABBA!!!!!) and it's a bit bigger then normal. I've been doodling a lot in it.  I used to have a really hard time doodling. Mainly because I tried too hard to make it look cute....casual too...I never really succeeded.

6. Willow - she is 3,000 times better today. I took her to the vet and have her on some pain meds. She kind of strained her neck (not sure how) and its like I have my puppy back.  Hopefully she'll be on the mend and the next 2 days will be better then before

7. My iPod.  Because I won't open my computer, I have to have music on my iPod. I spent a whole night  getting my iPod updated.  I think I'm going to really like the different music.

8. Energy....I'm actually really looking forward to this.  I want to relax and just be present.  Cuddle with Willow and meditate on what I have in my life.


Now....this could all fall apart around 8:27 tonight.  Turning everything off is going to drive me crazy, I know this.  And its not because I just can't be unplugged, its because I will be totally alone. Something I don't like being anymore.  So this is just as much of a lesson for me to get off the grid but its also going to teach me that being alone is not bad....but if you would like to visit, I think most of you have my address.  Bring a date...we'll get this party jumping. I suspect that this will be in my head all weekend...

Word to your Mother!

Bad Attitude

I’ve decided to have a pity party today. I’m in a foul mood and I’m not sure anyone has the ability to talk me out of that. I’m pissed about things at work. I’m frustrated with Willow and her sudden desire to be anywhere but around me. And I have these feelings of despair that I just can’t keep in check around other people. It’s almost 2:00 and I’ve spent about 94 minutes at my desk throughout the day and I feel really behind at work. I am tired of being upset and unable to manage my attitude around others so I’m going home. I think I’ll be able to work adequately from there. Willow ignores me and I can’t get her to let me pet her so I think I’ll be distraction free.



I really do wish things were easier right now. I’m tired of fighting and scrambling for things. I’d really like it to be calm and productive. Mostly this is my attitude and I know that. But it’s a lot easier to lash out to others and ask for them to fix it. I’m sure my friends are tired of me bitchin’ and moanin’ about crap.



I’m considering going “off grid” this weekend. I did it about a year ago and it was pretty good. I turned off the phone and computer. I even shut the TV off and I think I’m going to try that again. I have books to read and I have tons of projects to do. I just uploaded 300+ songs to my iPod so there can be new music for the weekend. I’ll get groceries Friday after work and then hibernate for 2 days. I really do not think I’m going to an extreme here. I guess it boils down to needing to stay away from people because I’m going to be so miserable that I will probably bring them down. And it is not my intention, at all, to make my friends work to be my friends. I hate that I probably take more than I’ve ever given.



Last year, when I did my first Off Grid, it was a sudden decision and actually weirded several people out. My Mother being one of them. I’ll broach this as a retreat from reality but not because I’m going to hole myself up in an apartment with all the windows closed, blinds shut, lights out and gulping water from the kitchen sink faucet without a glass. I might go a little aboriginal and walk around in the nude, I am running out of clothes to wear.



I think I have better boobs



 Maybe now is the time to start on my HCG diet...I've been putting it off and so now I am at an all time high weight for the last 3 years. This gives me the ability to go without soda for the first couple of days and not threaten and/or actually kill someone because I'm in withdraw. Yeah, this sounds like a good time to do this. I guess I'm going to pull the trigger on this....Off Grid 2011.  You can place your orders for t-shirts now...I'll cut you a deal.

The why of the matter....and then pictures

I was reading one of the other 48 blogs I follow and I found myself yawning through some of them.  I kind of did that snobby thing where I asked myself why the hell did I continue to read these blogs over and over again. Nothing original in them.  They pontificate about this that and the other.  I was tired of reading someones attempt to sound cool or in the know.  Then I asked myself why the hell did I blog about things? I know there has to be people out there reading me (not just the 4 I see) and I have to wonder if I am writing anything original or if I am pontificating about things.

I know for a fact that I didn't start this to make a sensation. At the point of the beginning of this blog, I was only reading one blog.  And that was a blog that I had been reading many years prior to the first post on my blog.  This guy had a lot of followers and was super funny.  He would talk about guy things (like poop etc) and I really enjoyed that. Tells you something about me.  And then things started happening, he was recognized for his blog by People Magazine, he was one of the 100 beautiful people in that year.  And that was fantastic.  Until he stopped blogging because he was writing a book.  I kind of got a little bitter because I had spent some wonderful years slacking off at work so I could read him. Fucker let success go to his head.  Although I am friends with him personally on Facebook and follow his FB page for his book. I still enjoy reading his blog.

So, why do I blog?  I don't really know. I had a great story or two that I thought people might like. Vanity I'm sure.  I've always wanted people to laugh at stuff I say.  I want to bring insight to others...albeit sarcastically.  And I went through a period there where I didn't blog at all. I had so much crappy things to say that I just didn't feel like even opening up over that.

Now, I read a couple of blogs and I am fascinated with how they communicate.  What pose they put around their thoughts.  I don't think I'll ever be like that.  But I think I'm good for a couple poop and fart jokes!

I feel like I should have a theme and I don't have one.  I should be more organized with my thoughts and have really great stories to tell.  I don't put together posts well before I post. I tend to just write what is on my mind and go from there.  So I'm a little disjointed and probably not as entertaining as I think I am.  But it's good therapy for me, it gives me an outlet to get stuff out of my head.  I had that 30 days of posting that would allow me to post something for 30+ days around topics I got from another blogger.  That gave me something to write about.

So I think I"m going to make a more formal approach for this blog.  I think I'm going to give myself an opportunity (not necessarily that I HAVE to do it each week) to talk about something each week.  I'm going to have a picture of the week and give background or comments on it.  And then I'm going to have a day where I post about something I found funny that day.  Not that I am going to post 2 times every week.  That's leaves me with too much of an opportunity to fail.  No, I"m giving myself some structure.  And I am always in need of structure.

Picture of the day:

I have become obsessed about Willow's attitude lately.  She seems withdrawn and almost pouty.  She just isn't herself but I'm being told that I'm over analyzing so I've been keeping it to myself.  But right now, she's upstairs on the bed and I'm downstairs in the livingroom.  In the 3+ weeks I've had her, she hasn't been away from me for more then a minute or two.  Let alone a full level away.  So I'm not sure what is going on. My fear is that I am actually losing my dog.  She's stopped liking me or at least done kissing my ass for saving her.  I now have a dog that elusive and cold....I see the irony in that; I'm elusive and cold.  All I wanted was a dog that was like The Dogs...I'm getting one that doesn't particularly want to be around me.  Awesome!  I'm pouting a bit and I'm a little hurt.  It may be something that changes any day down the road but for the last 5 or 6 days, she's been distant.  But it is what it is...we'll get to a point that she'll be comfortable and so will I. I just need to stop being unreasonable and over obsessive.  That's not helping the matter.

So the picture of the week...I took this picture of Willow the other day and thought it was pretty close to the bat picture.  I have to admit that she's cute but people still think she's "ugly"...either way, I love her.