First Big Meet

Burke met the folks this weekend.

I would say that it went well and it would be true to say that everyone seemed to get along.  It did not go well for me...

I started the weekend off with getting no sleep Friday night.  This is not unusual, it happens sometimes with the way my meds work.  But this was a recipe for disaster this weekend.  I was already nervous about Burke coming to my house; due to the difference in our amount of things we own.  I was really nervous about how he would view the place I called home.  I had a lot of stuff and he is very minimalistic.

So that was the first thing I was nervous about this weekend.  Because it was not stressful enough for him to spend the night with me I decided to add meeting my folks to the mix.  Another thing to be nervous about.

The meet went well and everyone liked everybody.  I am getting this information through my folks and Burke because I was totally out of commission.  I had lost contact with reality.

I started vibrating around noon.  I made the decision to take my stimulant that morning regardless of not getting sleep.  Hoping it would help me stay on top of my game.   I didn't think it would have a negative effect but it did.  I was not able to sit still and couldn't manage to regulate my body temperature. I literally paced the house.  Stopping to straighten something or move the kitchen stuff around.  I'd rest for a bit and my mom or pickle would try to talk to me, telling me to relax and just breathe.  I would have liked to have told them to fuck off but I couldn't have completed a sentence at this point.  I kept starring at the clock and fidgeting.

I walked through the day as if I was about 5 steps behind reality.  This is what happens when I am nervous.  And I've been nervous a lot lately.  I shake and get to talking 936 miles a minute.  I definitely go manic.  But I start over analyzing things and worry.  I start hyperventilating and the shakes become all over the body tremors.  In other words, I act like I'm on crack...

He got there and everything was fine....I think they talked about food or something.  Dad did a pretty good job of staying engaged and after about 154 hours...the folks left.  I just about rolled out of my chair...I was exhausted.  Burke did a great job of calming me down and we went on a walk with the dogs.  The cold air helped clear out the cobwebs for a bit.

The primary reason for having Burke come over was that I was having dinner with some friends in my Cube Car Club.  I wanted Burke to go with me.  Mainly because I had always been the odd girl out with the group.  I started the group with one guy and we had a 3rd join shortly afterwards.  We've been trying to find more since.  The two guys always had their wife or kid with them and I was the token single girl.  But not anymore!!! I was bring Burke to show him off. As a side note....we had a new guy show up to the dinner so that brings us to 4!!!!  And right now we have 2 others that are going to try to come to the next one. 

Yes, I know this makes me a dork but I am so happy that we have a car club.  It's exciting to meet new people and hang out with people that I normally might never have met.  I love that I get to plan things since I'm a total planner in life.

But back to the story...I started crashing around 6pm.  We were meeting for dinner at 6 and between having no sleep for about 36 hours and the pressure of Burke meeting friends and family...I about passed out.  I tried to get a kick of sugar before the dinner, hoping that would help me rally up for the dinner but it didn't...

I spent dinner watching the TV in the restaurant and not speaking to anyone. Not out of rudeness but because I kind of tuned everyone out.  I was completely out of it. I think I was asked a question or two but I honestly don't remember what we talked about.  By the time we got the check and went home, I was on fumes...  Got upstairs, in PJ's, meds and gave a small snuggle to Burke, then promptly fell asleep.  It was 8:15pm....I'm a winner!

Burke did awesome with meeting everyone. I wish I could have been able to help guide him and support him through the day. Burke was nervous too but he was stellar that night. Especially since he had to entertain himself after 8pm. He got to entertain himself and I think he got watch a couple of movies. I'm a great girlfriend.  Sorry Burke!!!

I think I'm going to stick with driving to his place or him to mine and watching movies....I don't know that I would live through another Saturday like that!

I have this elaborate alarm clock system. My body lacks the “switch” that wakes me up every morning at the same time. I will sleep and sleep and sleep until I either have to go the bathroom or I’m awoken by an alarm or someone else. And I’m very good about sleeping through alarms. Not that I can ignore that insanely annoying beeping. But I can hit the snooze without really waking up.

So I came up with this great plan. I bought an alarm clock that only goes off for an hour. Now, this sucks. My old alarm would continue to go off every 9 minutes until I shut it off. We worked well together. I would slam it off and she’d come back in some insane 9 minutes and jerk me out of sleep. Well, she died. And rightfully so, she was about 2 years old and had been beaten within an inch of her life every day. She had worked hard and deserved a hero’s parade. Unfortunately, the day she died I was late for a meeting and she got a quick toss in the trash while I mumbled something about being a lazy bitch….so much for loyalty.

So I bought a new clock. Cheap; you get what you pay for. I realized later that the same saying is true for dating services but that’s another story…Well, the new cheap clock broke after about 4 months. The snooze button on top actually lost the word SNOOZE because I hit it so many times that it had worn off. So I tossed that one.

I then decided to spend more than $10 on an alarm clock. I went to Target and their selection was pretty slim but going to Wal-Mart isn’t really an option. I just can’t stand going there. So I paid $20 and come up with this fancy one that actually turns colors every time you smack it. And I decided to move it across the room so that I had to get out of bed to turn it off. This all worked well until I realized that it only went off for an hour. Something I learned by mistake. If I had taken the time to read the literature…I might have known this. But it was too late. I had thrown that out with the box already.

So here comes my plan. I bought a docking station around this time for my iPod. I found that it has 2 alarms on it. Alarm A and Alarm B. I could set them to go off around the time my color alarm clock stops beeping. Genius! So I set A to go off at 6:45 and B to go off at 7:00. Well, they both can’t go off at the same time and I have to be aware of turning it on the night before. I have to make sure that its light up. So now, I have to turn on my colored alarm clock (is that politically correct?) and either Alarm A or Alarm B…seems to be working but I’ve thrown in one more thing. My pulse meter watch…it has an alarm too and I can snooze it for 10 minutes. So…I have at least 3 things going off each morning. In the hopes that I’ll be able to wake up in enough time to get to work.

I won’t hold my breath but I would sure like to have an alarm that talks me into waking up instead of kicking me in the gut and standing back to smile while I curse and plead for more sleep.