I’ve never been one for fads. I do fall for them occasionally but I tend to just not get roped in. Mostly because it means some work on my part and I tend to stay away from that. And I never do any research on things. I will buy, join or champion something if I have a friend or co-worker that tells me it works for them. Health be damned. I know that I alarm those in my life every time I get on a kick about something. Sewing, gardening, knitting, etc….I go balls out for something if I think it’s going to change me or make me better. I have a full sized room full of drawers, tables, scissors, fabric, etc because I thought I might try sewing. I will buy everything I can that might pertain to that desire. Now the sewing is sticking. More like the knitting is sticking. I’m enjoying that.
Less on the hobby side is dieting. I joined Weight Watchers a few months ago and promptly stopped doing it after a couple of weeks. I do not have the willpower to do most things. My attention span is about the size of a full grown gnat. But I’m at a place where I have to do something. When I got divorced I was almost 300 pounds. That was a direct result of the marriage not working because I tended to hide behind things. Both of us are emotional eaters and so instead of working on the marriage, we sat and ate. So when I moved into my townhouse and started walking the dogs…I lost weight. It didn’t hurt that I was not eating. In 18 months I lost 120 pounds. Full 60 pounds of that was in the first 6 months. I ended up losing another 20 pounds over the next 18 months. And then in September of 2009 I stopped doing any of the exercising I was doing that was keeping the weight off. So fast forward 20 months and I’ve put 40 of that back on. I’m dangerously close to the limit I put in my head that I could never get over. It’s DANGEROUSLY close. I’m starting to get uncomfortable with my clothes. I get winded easily. My hips are starting to get sore. All things I just cannot allow. So I started Weight Watchers but it was just not something I was going to be able to do.
The last couple of months I’ve been hearing about new diets that seem to be too good to be true. It’s like the thought process that someone has when they hear about a million dollar idea and forget about the issue that it takes more than they are probably able to give. You can’t get rich quick and so the same applies to dieting; you can’t get skinny quick.
Except I have first person endorsements. There are 3 people in my office alone that are doing this new diet and ALL of them are experiencing results. Major results. And, at the time I talked to them the first time, it seemed super easy. But nothing is ever easy.
This diet is called the HCG diet (or Skinny Up!) and is actually hugely difficult. You have a handful (and I mean a handful) meats, veggies, fruits and bread you can eat. You have to watch your calories; you have to take these drops under your tongue. You have to overcome the snack demon and the big man himself…the soda devil. There are instructions that are just contradictive to what society tells you to do to lose weight. But it promises ½ a pound to 2 lost every DAY!!!! And it’s only for 40 days. I’m doing the 30-40 pounds lost in 40 days. 40 pounds is my goal. But it takes a lot of willpower to do this. And money. If this really works, then the money is well spent. I think it’s worth the cost to ensure that I stop the weight from creeping up more each week.
Today is day 3. I made my lunch and ate every bit of it. I know what I’m having for dinner. I know what I’m taking to work for lunch tomorrow….it will probably be cheaper in the long run by having the same things over and over again. I won’t be eating a lot of food so I won’t have to buy all the crap I used to buy.
This is a huge change in my head. Right now I’m fighting the urge to eat. Nothing in particular but something. Preferably sweet and crunch. I’d drink a Diet Mountain Dew right now….probably 3 of them and Diet Mountain Dew is NASTY SHIT. I’d be down in the cafeteria getting a cookie or an ice cream bar. And I’d be throwing back the sugar packed Crystal Light flavor packets to cover up the blandness of water. I’d be full of a sugar high!
But I need this. I’m in a funk and I hate how I look. I’ve got to do something…I’m in my right mind and I am dedicated to this. It’s only 40 days. If I didn’t know people that were doing this, I’d be skeptical too. But results don’t lie.
They say it takes 21 days to break or create a habit. This is for 40 days and I honestly think this is my opportunity to change. Changing my eating habits and how I view food is something I need to do or I’m going to end up at 290 pounds again. I can’t go back to that. This is my opportunity to change, become someone that is fit and eats right and makes good decisions. I just to have to have constant vigilance and keep ahead of the “addiction” and my eye on the results. Imagine me being 40 pounds lighter in 40 days. I’m willing to lose my hair, grow some extra hair elsewhere and have to wear bunion cushions for the rest of my life if I could get back to a weight where I can shop in any store. The weight that makes men give me a second glance and one that teaches me that a 3 oz piece of chicken is really all I need. This is going to be hard. I know that but I want to be smaller and fit harder. And the weight gain fairy is on full watch with me. One of us is going to win and the other is going to have to find something else to do with their time. I’m putting money on me wining. I actually feel a little confident about this….
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