Wild Brain Scheme # 37

So I've been obsessing about this dilemma that I have personally gotten myself into and I'm starting to get past the nasty elephant in the room and have decided that I have to start thinking of ways to get this shit taken care of.  And how did I come to this conclusion?  Well, first, only because I was beating my head against my cheap work desk and bemoaning to the world that I am so very very fucked.  I kind of knew that was the case. It doesn't take a 3 year old to figure what the situation is going to mean.  I still had to get to it through my way of coming to terms with it though and that was to actually do work work.  I'm always looking for ways to get out of working, so I spend a lot of time in my "budget" spreadsheet. I literally spend an hour or more (usually way more) going through my spreadsheet.  Adding things and seeing what that means 3 weeks from now.  I use these numbers in my head when shopping but I always forget what it means 3 weeks from now when I'm buying things.  I just know that I have *this sum of money* available in my spreadsheet and its when I come back to it the next day and enter those receipts that I realize I have fucked myself 3 weeks from now.  I am not an accountant and I have not played one on TV. 

So I did what I have found is an easy way to lose track of 4 hours and that is to put together an excel spreadsheet and work through it that way.  Starting fresh and just carrying over a balance from a certain date.

Tedious? yes 
Time Consuming? yes
Not really facing reality? yes
Waste of time? I don't think so

Now hear me out....I love Microsoft Excel, I know I said that I spend about an hour or so on my budget spreadsheet?  Today was a record maker.  I had three meetings in the morning and 2 meetings in the afternoon.  So not a lot of time to obsess like I wanted to.  So I exercised some seniority pull and skipped some meetings.  Very bad thing to do and I don't recommend it.  I felt guilty for about 9 seconds.  Then I packed up my computer and went home so I could do this without anyone interrupting me.

What I found then surprised the ever loving shit out of me.  This is WAY worse then I thought.  I am really fucked. 

That took some time to sink it.  My mind kept telling me that it was going to be fine.  You can do this or that or something like that and it'll be OK.  Except Excel doesn't lie.  Well, I should say that it's capable of lying if you don't (or do) do the right thing in the program but, well, I"m getting off topic.  Suffice to say that it wasn't Excel that kept popping up in my head telling me it was going to be OK.  It was my need to make things right, to be OK. 

Now, because Excel and sorely underused Paint are my friend...I give you a 2 week period in August 2011.  That is not a mistake but that whole 2 week period, I am running in the red. And I cannot shut any of these things off.  The Gym is not necessary or wanted but I have a contract and I can do nothing about it because it requires money to get out of.  And $13 for a gym is a downright bargain.

I have gone over these numbers so many times that I can pretty much tell you that I am pretty screwed.  Refreshing!

So...I am gathering my better attributes and I am going to formulate a plan.  I have a preliminary idea. And it's one I want some feedback on.  I just need a little time to juggle it around in my head.  But I'm going to rely heavily on all of you and all my other peeps to give me ideas around how to do it better.  I'm not asking for help in terms of them fixing this.  In reality, I need people to tell me if I'm making the right decisions.  Because I don't know if you know this...I don't make good decisions in my personal life.  I stink at it.