Showing posts with label Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. Show all posts

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Man Legs

In addition to being Bipolar and an alcoholic...I have a syndrome too.  I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome.  Which really boils down to me being hairy, fat and infertile.  I mean really on all three.

I don't ovulate.  Have never, even after thousands of dollars and dozens of treatments.  I could not pop out one little egg...BUT, I can pop out a 5 o'clock shadow on my chin in about 5 minutes after plucking.    I found hair in places that I swore never was supposed to have hair. I have spent thousands on hair removal...and that shit is not cheap or painless.  But I refuse to look like a Russian Fishwife in my mid 30's.

I have not been shaving my legs in the winter on a regular basis.  Mostly that is because I am not and have not been seeing anyone for the last 3 years.  I did make a conscious effort last summer to keep them shaved every week because I was wearing a lot of dresses but the fall is upon us and I'm growing it out again.  And when I say growing it out, I really mean that I shave every 2 weeks or so...

The problem is that I can shave and about the time I'm toweling off, I get goosebumps and all my hard effort is for naught.  I have NEVER had the baby smooth legs.  I have a constant presence of shadow on my legs.  And forget about my thighs...oye!!!!

One year, I went 6 months without shaving.  I was actually pretty proud of that fact until my mom saw it. I felt a little like the bearded lady at a circus because she just kind of stared and shook her head.  She wanted to get a closer look and touch it, just to see if it was real.  I shaved that night. Took me about 20 minutes...maybe I shouldn't be so proud of that....

I would give up a lot of things to ensure that I had baby smooth legs. I truly would do a lot...but I guess I just have to deal with the cards I'm dealt and resign myself to years of shaving. Maybe I could start a trend and bring back the French mentality of not shaving...