Someone to look up to...

I do have a long list of people's blogs that I follow.  Some are for knitting and others for felting.  A lot are just ones I came across and really liked.  Most of these are on Blogger - like mine.

But I have a hand full of bloggers that I read that are not hosted by a blogging site but have their own websites that they host and manage.  The design and content are solely for them.  And I just have to say that I love one blog in particular.  She actually has MANY blogs that she writes for.  Her Mommy blog, a blog she writes for a sex company, her personal blog and then her blog in the Houston newspaper.

The Bloggess Blog

I really enjoy reading her posts.  And I think she has a great sense of humor. She makes things interesting, even if they are not. She brings a fresh way of telling a story.

So why pimp this?  Because I realize I am probably never going to be able to write like that. I think I'm a decent blogger. I don't write about heavy topics; mostly because I don't want to waste my time talking about topics like politics, baseball, the value of a good cup of coffee and how Top Gun really changed the view of sand volleyball.  I'm pretty sure I'm not going to find that topic in any of the posts I ever write.  But I also don't have a strong viewpoint on things so I can argue with you about them and bully you into thinking what I want you to think.  I honestly am not interested in anything serious that may take up time that would be better used on watching Netflix, running out of money and playing on the computer for hours on end.  I just am not willing to be more engaged in the world around me.

Wow, this actually turned kind of serious for a second.  I need to pull the nose up on this crashing plane.

So my blog for the day is going to be sponsored by the letter A and goes a little something like this...

A is for Apple that's good enough for me
A is for anger; it seems to fuel my daily commute
A is for awesome; I'm pretty sure I'm about 83.7% awesome
A is not for appetite; I don't seem to have one lately (could be good for me!)
A is for ampersand (&); I have one on my shelf (used to be the AND between PB & J <~~long story)
A is for alone; sometimes I love it and sometimes I cry because of it

And so, I close this blog with these deep thoughts...

Don't get bored in the middle of the afternoon and spend hours reading through other people's blogs; trying to compare yourself.  Just be happy with an apple, an ampersand, a little less anger, believe in your awesomeness, making sure that no appetite means your full not that your trying to lose weight and that its OK  being alone every once in a while. I'm pretty good company.


Why I"m going to actually post this blog is beyond me but I just reread and I am a horrible blogger.  I am going to have to step this up a notch if I want to have more then 3 followers...

Anger

Years ago, I would never have thought to tell people that I was angry. First, I just didn't recognize the feeling anger. I had stamped my feelings down so much that I could recognize sadness, which never ended in tears; I was too strong for that. Sometimes contempt. Never content, happy, joyous, and free. Just kind of neutral. Numb is probably a better word for it.


But about 3 years ago I entered the program and I was furious. I hated; HATED people. I hated what they wore, what they said; how they tried to hug me....back the fuck off, people. No touchy....you will leave with a limp.

People tiptoed around me because I would lash out at any given thing that I felt was an offense.  And it could just be that you are sitting there.  Because, God Damn it, that was MY spot.   I mean really....I used to succumb to this red tinged attitude. I would go off and not even really know what it was about. I'd lose my cool, as they would say.

A friend of mine says that he has 2 modes...off or go off.  That kind of summed me up.  Most of the time I was just OFF. 

Now? I get angry, but in appropriate ways. Sometimes. I'm in touch with my anger now and I seem to simmer at an even "bitch" level. For the most part I keep my mouth and feelings to myself. I understand that need for diplomacy. And I'm pretty good about how to word my frustrations. I can control that rage. Now, I have outlets. I "talk" about my anger.

But when I get really angry?I go looking for a dark corner to bring you to and hell is coming with me.